The Girl Who Writes On Maple Leaves

The Joker Face

POV: Naeesah Khan 

After so long , after he rejected me as his child , he has the courage to show his face.

22 years and i still can't belive it.

"Nash , Naeesah ..." he said.

Fayez was his name. What was the thing i hate the most ? I was his female version , phisically.

5.7 feet tall  , curly dark brown hair , dark brown eyes and arabic facial features.

"What do you want , kind of sperm donor slash worst father ever slash trash?" i nearly shouted ,

"Naeesah Khan, Mind your language , he is always your dad" ,

"Dad is someone that stays and grow his child , don't someone that marries a woman get her pregnant and live her because his dad hates poor people"i yelled looking with boiling eyes my "father" ,

"Your mum called me here to explain you why i didn't speak to you for so long , let me explain please" ,

I looked at my mum with a mix of surprise and anger ,

"Mum ,can you explain please ",

"Who wants to eat ice cream ?" my mum said offering him , and looked at me , begging me to don't make scenes,

"Yes , come in and have a cup of ice cream , let me serv you with a drop of poisson  " i said with a malefic smile when my mum glared at me.

He sat  in our living room eating slowly as if seriously he believed i could poisson him. 

Oh believe me i wish.

Mum looked at him with a smile as if they where husband and wife and he never left her for his dad. 

If only grandpa was here  he would kill this man for how much her daughter suffered.

His smile desapeared the moment his eyes posed on me. I was waiting for his explanations ,

and the moment he posed his bowl on the glass table i knew he was starting to talk.

"Naeesah , you know , what happened is a long story and i know i am the villain of the situation , but believe me when i tell you that after that we wanted to get married , even if we wanted to wait for your 18th birthday to tell you the truth , the answer to the question that you asked a lot of times: who is your true dad. 

Since that day the one that grow you up had to tell you the truth cause he couldn't hold it more than that. He is your dad and i know , but i want to build something with you . I am not asking you to call me dad , but just give me a chance",

"Why you didn't get back together ?" ,

"My daughter , your step sister didn't want cause she was scared that if she got attached to your mum and then the thing in the future could break , she would be so broken. 

You know that her mother left her when she was only five years old"

"So you want me to just forget? My mum endures the pain to see your face reflected into mine since i was born , she has to see this " i said showing my face " everyday . Can you imagine the pain ? CAN YOU IMAGINE?" , i yelled at him standing up.

"I know , but accept it or not , peach , that we want to try so you have to forgive him. Remember is not good to keep in heart " my mum said  while standing up in front of me , between me and him.

I hope she was kidding. After all the tears she was that blind?

"Are you that damn blind, mum? " ,

"Naeesah , please understand me , i never had luck in love and i want to have someone beside me when you will get married one day ",

"Until that day i am here or not?" ,

"Naeesah you know what i mean , let me give ..." , i didn't let her finish the sentence that i took my phone and the car keys and ran out of the house, entered the car and i started to drive until i arrived to my favourite place: Rome . While the long drive i put on James Arthur _Impossible song. When i am in pain , specially after discovering that my mum wants to get married without even asking me, witout asking my opinion, it hurts.

What i was saying ? Oh yes , when i am in pain i want to be more masochist with masochist lyrics that kills inside. You know these lyrics that give you shivers of relief when you sing them along with the singer? I just feel a little bit free.

Another thing that i love doing when i am in pain ? Praying . Namaz , and it was nearly Esha (fifth prayer) time and i drove directly to the maginificent mosque of Rome.

Did you know that it's the biggest Mosque of Europe? I was  more shocked to know that it was an italian that fought for this mosque because he believed in the right of letting muslims having a mosque in a country where the 3/4 of it was christian.

It can take like 40 minuts to get there but i don't care. In mosques there is such a peace that only Allah can give me. 

Yes, is kinda cheesy i know but i am so close to my religion , and i manifest it with my hijab, by wearing it i feel more safe and as if guardian angels sent by the big boss are beside me always.

Here it is , shining soflty with his warm lights, the beautiful mosque of Rome.

I parked the car and enterend the mosque walking slowly between the trees at the entry of the doors on the women's side.

There are stairs made of white marble that brings you up , sided with mosaics made mostly of shade of blue and with , with touches of orange and red.

The momet when my feet touched the carpet tears ran down my pink cheeks. I walked slowly on that blue carpet and looked up to those white details of the architecture , that was simple but that was also magicly mixed to the complicated interlocks. 

The priest wasn't present yet. I looked at my watch and saw that i could pray.

Praying alone i loved it the most cause there was silence, silence of freedom.

I took my time and taste every moment of it. 

When i finished i posed my head on the ground and asked whatever i could ask as if i could fly like an angel and talk to Allah with a real conversation. 

I walked out the Mosque and reached my car to then drive at the center of Rome , i parked near the Tevere river. I took my phone and called him , and i know that even if we keep distances my heart was beating for him.

I smiled waiting to hear his usual expression " Were where you all this time?" ,

but the moment a female voice answered my heart made a crack. I couldn't believe to hear her voice after all these years, why she was back in my life?