Black Mesa high school (Half life Au) !!SATIRE!!

How to survive a zombie attack 101

ADRIANS POV:

"What?" I lifted my eyebrow up like the badass The Rock does as the teacher squinted his eyes at me. "Your backpack." He squints his eyes to take a better look "Aiden." The whole class burst into giggles. Great, "I found it at the dump it was free okay? My name is actually Adrian Shepherd!" I spit back at the whole class. They all just looked at each other like idiots and turned back around.

The teacher nodded his head and went on about something that I don't really care about. I plug in my earpods that are really big for reason and got up to walk out. No one even questioned anything, Thats how badass I am.

As I began to stroll down the hall. I heard a faint distance of loud obnoxious laughter from two people. Ugh annoying. There was at least a male and a woman in there cause I could hear a laugh that sounded similar to Hahns. I had nothing to do so I went over to where the faint sound was. I was right up against the door as soon as they were laughing again. Jesus holy shit were they loud. I gently pushed open the door, My eyes were closed and I was expecting to see mad scientist activites or cooking up some type of drug. (Like my fav show breaking bad!)

But when I opened my eyes, I just saw two people sitting in a empty classroom with what looks like a dead headcrab between them. "GRIGORI NO DONT FLING IT UP LIKE THAT!" the girl said before bursting into tears and falling on the floor rolling. Grigori...man that dude is fucking crazy as shit. There was rumors that Grigori was a serial killer which I believed for a while! But turns out he is just not mentally well. I didn't recognize the girl that was in the room with him.

She had a short brown bob that was pulled up with a clip. She was wearing a red shirt that something about science on it. I swore I saw her before..nah im sure she is just some lady I saw at the grocery store.

"Shepherd?" She spoke in a soft tone to me. Im not a fucking baby you can speak louder LADY. "Ah brother!" Grigori chuckles as he pulls me into the classroom "You are just in time for our survival training!" He turns around to a chalkboard and starts writing down alot of words that I can not read. Cause badasses dont read. Grigori Stops all the sudden "Oh! This is Colette! She is a good friend of my mine." He turns back around and Colette gives me a nod. Wait, I remember that name.

It was last year when Gina Cross died while trying to help out the military in a war that was going on with a certain part of Xen. When they returned her body, she was so mangled up and she looked almost like a Hamburger .

God the image of seeing Gina dead still haunts me to this day. But poor Colette, she was dating Gina Cross and she loved her very much. Gina was so sweet to everyone and was good friends with everyone too. Especially Hahn, They would talk 24/7 but also get Into a bunch of drama. God I feel so sick right now.

But I shouldn't show any emotion cause Colette is eyeing me like a hawk right now. I looked at Colette who had suddenly changed her expression to sadness. She must have been reading my mind. Eughhh...thats weird.

Grigori Coughed really loud before turning back around to began his lesson guide. He started to explain that the best way to kill zombies was to aim for their head. He showed a demonstration with his hands. "See like this!" He quickly turned to the right to aim at the mannequin that was in the room with us. He made little, 'pew' sound as he pretend to shoot the mannequin in the head. He laughed and got back to writing down more bullshit that I couldn't even read cause badasses DONT READ.

I all the sudden felt
Something that was touching me from my left side of my foot. When I looked down THERE WAS A FUCKING HEADCRAB ON MY FOOT. I couldn't scream or otherwise no one would think im tough and cool. So Panicky, I tapped Colette's shoulder and pointed down at my foot. She raised her eyebrow before looking down to see the uncooked Turkey that was on my foot.

"DAMN IT I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!!" Colette began to stomp on the headcrab, NOT REALIZING THAT SHE WAS ALSO STEPPING ON MY FOOT TOO!, I LET OUT A BIG SCREAM. "Colette stop!!! Get it off me! your stomping on my foot!!!" I squealed in anger.

"HOLD ON ADRIAN IM PRETTY SURE THIS TURKEY IS ALMOST DEAD!!" Colette laughed manically as she was stomping even harder. Grigori Turned around to see the whole situation play out. "HEADCRAB!" He shouted before rushing over to what looked like a big instrument case. He unlocked it and pulled out his beloved 'Annabelle'.

"GRIGORI NO DONT SHOOT AT THE HEADCRAB!!" Colette yelled at Grigori while he was reloading his weapon, "Relax my child! My aim skills are good!" He pointed the weapon at the headcrab and was ready to fire any moment. I heard the click of the weapon and out came a bullet that went straight through my foot.

Everything felt so slow at that moment. I looked down at my foot to see that the headcrab was also shot. However, at the last second the headcrab had moved itself away from my foot by an inch right as the bullet was sent out. God damn headcrabs!!

I closed my eyes and soon everything felt normal for a bit. As I opened my eyes and looked at the two of them. They both just looked so shocked as they looked at my foot then at the headcrab. I looked down to see the gapping open wound on my foot. "HOLY SHI-" I was about to yell but I all the sudden felt very dizzy and soon enough

I was out.