LOSING YOU

Chapter 76- Horses And Unicorns

Kabir's POV...

People look up to me as an inspiration. I've read articles about me, I've heard people talk, it's always things like- A good looking, born and bought up in London, alumni of one of the finest universities in the country, the topper of the University, the CEO of two of the largest and most prestigious banks in the world that too at the age of twenty-eight... etc, etc. What no one sees, is the fucked up man on the inside. Life is so unpredictable... I just think that... Dammit. I don't know what to think. Myra got discharged from the hospital yesterday and Siya has her flight to The States today. I heard there was a big farewell party given to her, I didn't go to the office today... Not that I care, but I hope the USA would be good for her. Fatty and Ava too recently shifted to California, she might stay with them. Not that I care anyway... She lied to me. Period.

Myra isn't very curious about everything going on, which is weird because she acts like there is no Siya in her life. I decide not to probe either, I have no reasonable explanation as to where her mom is... She's quite frustrated because of her broken arm. She hates asking for help, so I'm thinking of hiring Ruby again. She knows Myra really well. I have been talking to Fatty, he supports me but he also tries to get me to forgive Siya. Ava is mad at me for being mad at her best friend. Ava and I were never close naturally. We became close because we were dating each other's best friends. That's all. She even tells Fatty to stop talking to me, I mean- That woman literally hates me. I feel sorry for Fatty because that poor thing is crushed by the indirect war going on between his wife and his best friend. I thought that I'll be fine without Siya, but that's the most fucked up lie I've ever told myself. I'm sad these days, I'm numb, I'm lost. She was the light to my life after all. But, I'll be fine, and so will be Myra- at least we'll be alive, if not fine and that's a good thing considering the hell the whole situation is in. I wish I could get Myra to call me Dad or Papa or Pops or something but I think Kabir is fine. One step at a time. I'm in no rush.

I really enjoy looking at her these days. She's just like me, the eyes, the long and thin, delicate fingers which are sure to look exactly like mine in a matter of years, her smile, and the slightest sight of shallow dimples... Ah... I love her so much. Not just the outside, but the little loving, beautiful, smart, and kind girl on the inside too. Siya has indeed done an awesome job raising her. I wish I could be with Myra from the beginning. I wish I could witness the six years of her existence. I wonder that all this time, when I was doing my internship, when I found out about Siya's marriage, when I went back and started drinking, got into depression, met her again, saw her daughter for the first time, killed her husband and what not, but all this time, she was my daughter... Life is a bitch. I am feeling good and bad both at the same time, I need to talk, I need to push away these shitty feelings inside me. She's gone. Forever. I sent her away myself. I rub my face and look at Myra. Painting a blue painting. I smile at her. I don't know what it is but the paper is like a colour palette of different shades of blue.

"Kabir," Myra says while brushing away a strand of hair behind her ear and smearing the blue paint from her fingers on her forehead in the process. I chuckle.

"Yes, Myra?" I kneel in front of her. I prefer talking to her at eye level. She feels more comfortable and safe that way and so do I.

"I need a new hobby." She says as I hold her hand and take her to the bathroom. Oh dear lord, can't this child behave like a six-year-old instead of a sixteen-year-old... I smile to myself.

"Yeah? Why?" I place her on the countertop and wet a towel.

"I don't know... Everyone in school is learning new things. Nisha is doing dance classes and Reeva is going to swimming classes." She says while I wipe the paint off her face.

"But you go for karate classes... " I say and pick her up in my arms. She wraps her tiny limbs around me.

"I don't like karate class anymore... It's boring."