LOSING YOU

Chapter 118- Plane Tickets

-SIYA-

Let's just say that we weren't fooled by the sweet exchange between Ava and her Dad that took place four days ago in the hospital.

They are still bickering, but at least Gaurav gets to participate in them. I've been home for the past two days and I'm feeling well. Movement is still difficult for me, my muscles are screwed. Kabir is there beside me 24/7. He's working from home and taking care of me. He is taking care of himself too. Changing his dressing and taking his medicine. Ava is diligent with refilling my ORS bottle every now and then. The food I eat is absolutely shit because, it should be nutritious and light and healthy and whatnot. Hate this.

I lie down on my side, the pain eating away at my insides. What else did I have to do to prove how much I love him? What? I killed a man with my bare hands. Tainted my whole life with a death. Blood.

A tear slips from my eye, I quickly wipe it away when I hear the door open, my back facing the door, I blink rapidly.

"Hey." All I hear is the distance in his voice. He locks the door. "Hi." I mentally slap myself when I hear how sad I sound. Kabir's head snaps towards me. "Is something wrong, baby?" I feel the mattress dip under his weight as he turns me to face him. So much worry in his brown eyes. "No... no, I'm just tired." I lie. He nods, as if not believing me but not wanting to argue either. "How was work?" I stare at his grey tie. "Work was really good. Natalie was asking about you." He lies down beside me and snuggles into my neck, takes a deep breath. I pull away and look at him. "What was she doing at the office? I haven't gone to work for about twenty days. That makes me realise that this month is about to end.

And he's about to leave for India. All the "work" he came to do is done. He has one ticket, and he has it for himself.

The reminder leaves a pang in my chest. The screen of his laptop lights up in my head. I saw his laptop today morning. He's leaving. He has a flight on Saturday. He'll reach on Sunday and resume work in Mumbai from Monday. Kabir is going, and he didn't tell me because why would he? I wouldn't want a murderer to be my partner either.

But, he is a murderer. He killed your ex-husband, remember?

"She's gone as a temp for Manish. She comes to the office everyday." He loosens his tie. "Oh, what did you say when she asked about me?" I whisper, he nods distractedly and walks on his knees towards my feet. "Kabir?" I ask him again but he keeps a finger on his lips, telling me to shut up. "Now be good for me and spread your legs, yeah?" With that he dissappears into the covers, I feel the back of my legs lifting as he slides them over his shoulders while peppering kisses on my skin. My heart thrums into my chest.

Don't let him go. Don't.

I slip my hand under the covers and grab his hair. My clit throbbing and wet, heat churning in my stomach. I haven't had him touch my body in so long. My fingers pull his head to where I want him. Need him. Kabir groans under the cover when he pushes two fingers inside me, I clench around him gasping for air. Electricity flows in my bloodstream like a shot of tequila when his tongue presses on my bud. "Ah, fuck." I curse, he hums in approval before sucking onto me so hard that I almost die due to the pleasure.

"Please, baby. I've waited so long." I cry when he slows down. His other hand grabs my breast and squeezes hard as his tongue flicks wildly over my pussy. I crush his head between my thighs, hot- dirty whimpers leaving my lips. He doesn't stop. I don't want him to. His fingers are buried inside me knuckles deep before I come around them with a shudder. My head falls back, skin sweaty and hot.

Kabir gets out of the covers and brings his fingers to his nose, closes his eyes and breathes my scent in. I stare at his face, not being able to look away. I love the groan that leaves him when he extends his fingers to me and I suck them clean. "I would've made love to you the whole night if you weren't recovering." That's all he says before he pulls me to his chest and snuggles into the bed with me. The hollow in my chest amplifies, I begin to blink all over again.

"Siya, is everything okay?" No, nothing is okay. You are leaving me. Again. "Yeah... yeah, I'm fine."

"Good. Good." He whispers softly and kisses my forehead. I smile despite the dread churning in my gut. Two days and I'll never get to touch him again, kiss him again, fight with him again. Never. There's no shred of the safety I had left now. I lost. I lost at love despite of doing every damn thing in my power.

"Kabir, is there something you need to tell me?" I whisper, he doesn't respond, I look up only to find him sleeping. Light snores falling from his slightly parted lips, his breath smells like me. I quietly sob into his arms for sometime and then walk downstairs, more like crawl. I knock on Ava's door. "Just a minute!" Gaurav says, I hear some shuffling and then he opens the door. His hair disheveled, chest heaving and his eyes bright. And his face is flustered. "Sup?" He pretends to be cool. Ava stands awkwardly beside the bed, her composure matching her husband's. "What's up, baby girl?" She says a little too loudly. I smirk.

"No one can tell you guys were doing it right now. Great job!" I roll my eyes. Gaurav blushes and leaves without another word. Probably to spend some quality time with his father-in-law. The thought eases some of the pain in my chest. "Have you been crying?" Ava cocks an eyebrow and walks towards me. "No, I just-" My chest aches, I find it difficult to finish my sentence, "Kabir is leaving- he's— he's going without me." A sob breaks from my lips, slowly turning into anger. Ava jogs towards me- holds me tightly to herself. "What? Who said that?" She stares at me, I snort.

"He has his tickets booked. He's leaving in two days."

"He'll cancel his tickets, he extended his stay anyway. Kabir loves you, he won't leave." She wipes away a tear, I glare at her. "Yeah? Because for all I know- he has begun his packing. His clothes are in the dryer, all of them." She presses her lips in a thin line. Not knowing what to say.

"I can-" I shake my head. "It's high time I started making things just between us." Sje winces at that. "I didn't mean to say that, Ava. I-" She holds up her hand. "No, you're right. It's just that... Nevermind." I sigh and leave the room.

"Did you know he's leaving?" I stare at Gaurav who pauses mid- conversation with his father-in-law. "What?"

"Kabir. Did you know he's going back to India?" He pales at that, a fresh wave of betrayal washes over me. He knew. He didn't tell me. My heart access so much thay I can't feel the strain in my muscles. My mind is so tired that I can't feel the weakness in my limbs. I just stand there. That's all I can do.

"Siya, he had booked a two way ticket. It's hot nothing to do with whatever happened recently." He walks over to me, I might as well punch him right now. "He postponed his ticket." I grit out. He shoots me a confused look. "I don't know anything about that." I know he's telling me the truth but how does that make any of this better?

Kabir is going back. To his family. Our daughter.

"I don't know what to say..." He shakes his head. I frown.

"There's nothing to do now." I breathe and go upstairs. Opening the bedroom door quietly, I walk over to the bed to watch him sleeping, peacefully.

How can you be so calm after wreaking havoc in my life? Do you not care about my heart at all? I want to wake him up and ask him. Instead, I climb into bed and wrap my arms around him, bury my face in his chest. Breathe him in deep enough that I never forget. Kabir holds me closer, I hear him mumble in his sleep- "I love you, Siya."

And despite the hurt, I manage to smile.