The Way Life Goes!!: The making of "Alex"

Growth Part #1

So fast forward to March 2023, 5 years later I'm back home in Florida with family! An emotional roller coaster isn't the half of what goes on in my head but my father always taught me to always take it like a lesson, the end will be the beginning. Before I left I thought I was ready for home. But honestly I'm ready to GET TF ASAP! AGAIN! I love my city. I love where I'm from. I just don't like being here. After the past stressful 5 years the change was yet to come. But it still feels a Lil weird being back.

November 29, 2022
The day i was arrested AGAIN; this is my 3rd time going to the same jail now so im over it before i even get there. So from the beginning of what happened:
It's my day off from Burger King and my fiancé (at the time) was just getting home. Now prior to him coming home, we're in a rooming house so we wanted a room with the bathroom. Now I called and asked them about the room they explained that they would have to get the electrical and water system together in the room. So while I'm about to prepare to cook some tacos, I all of a sudden hear someone moving furniture in👀 so I'm looking like...hmm can't be the room that I just told everyone I was about to get in (everyone in the house was cool as hell or so I thought- read on🙂) so I go up the stairs to find out that some bitch! that fucked one of my roommates was moving her shit in! I'm like oh hell naw wth. I go in the room to my fiancé and say "Nigha guess tf what! This exorcist-looking bitch stealing our room" he says "Nigha what?!?" So while we walking out to try to find out what's going on, the female and the actual roommate is in the kitchen! So we ask what was going on, and they proceeded to try and go up to the room I guess as a way to try to block our way in the room or to look in it. So while my ex-fiancée and the girl are fighting/arguing I'm in the room with my gun like please don't let this go the wrong way. But it did. BUT NO SHOTS WERE FIRED! When the police arrived she literally threw a brick in my window and proceeded to lie about it. She ended up telling them I had a gun cause I didn't have it on me I'm not telling where the gun was but baby I wasn't finna go down WITH my gun. We went to jail for 3 months just for the girl, the officers, or the witness to not even show up so the case was thrown out. It should have been with the bogus charges they gave us. It was "rumored" that the officer who gave us the charges had something going on with the girl who got us arrested so you know how that ATL shit goes. *wink wink*
We went to jail that morning and were put in the same area, and room. So Im already feeling the need to get away from him because I'm upset that it led to BOTH OF US getting arrested; I'm actually so angry that at this point I can't think of what to say to my ex-fiancé without bursting out some painful, hurtful, unnecessary comment about how he got us in this situation. The whole time I'm blaming myself the moment we got put in handcuffs; after so long in the same room, looking at each other every day every night. I ended up having so much pent-up rage, anger, and frustration I ended up falling out of love with him. It lead to bitterness in my heart that I did not want towards another human being. It took me to breaking up with him in the jail like 3 times then making up and doing it again. I had to leave. I had to go home. So in my mind, I already planned to go back home due to the fact I'm going back to school to be a paramedic and to focus on helping people so I can be a better human being. Months go by we reconcile the friendship into just a friendship and nothing more.
3 Months Later.
Finally! Out of jail didn't even know it would happen the way it did. But it did thanks to the one and only...GOD! So finally I'm out of jail and the glimpse of hope faded as I walk away from the jail house.

HOW AM I GONNA DO THIS? WHERE WILL I LIVE? WHO WILL HELP ME? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO FOR THAT HELP? WHEN WILL I FINALLY BE OKAY?

All these questions going through my head at once gave me the impression of failing...but I knew who I was! I knew where I came from and I knew how to get things done. But that fear still lived in the back of my head. So my good friend Nick who I met in jail actually helped me out a lot! Thanks to him I was able to survive without my mind crumbling with my life. I was sleeping in his car...now mind you he's not from ATL so he's staying with his mom until he moves away. So while I'm sleeping in his car of course I'm going to work. I actually got my job back the day after I got out of jail..which was no doubt an achievement not a lot of people can say their job gave them their same position back. So couple weeks go by and I'm talking with family about coming back home to start my life back over...even though I despise home. So many bad memories with Jacksonville but I try to look at how I'm gonna make it a better story. Everybody think Im always thinking of the worst possible outcome but in reality I'm thinking of it all. Im thinking of how I can beat these people who said or even treat me like I will never be anything. NO ONE will take that away from me again. Im READY for life again!

A couple weeks go by and now I'm back in Jacksonville, Florida again with the intent of going back to school for free...even though that's the INTENT doesn't mean it's the outcome. Now I'm back home in a hotel room trying to figure out how I'm gonna make it. So I got in touch with this housing company to let me stay in a hotel on their dime until I find somewhere suitable for me to stay. So a week maybe two go by and my adopted parents ask would I like to come back and stay with them for a couple months to get my life together here and of course I agreed. Now side note....God works in mysterious ways...because not only was that a good offer but at the time the offer was also to pay them rent and by the time I move out the money I paid them would come back to us as a parting gift of stability. So the offer was extended also to my estranged adopted brother that I have.

Me and my brother never really had a relationship to call it a brotherhood...and people always say "oh well he's your brother" actually he's someone that is my brother on paper..but in reality he acts as if this is a competition for "daddy's love". I have no competition because I don't live to compete with anyone but my old self. So his mentality even sometimes I play into his little game of competition because hey y'all want me to be a brother don't brothers compete. But I'm no expert is family or sibling hood so how would I know how to be a sibling I'm always reserved and in my own business.
So the offer was extended to both of us. Now the bad part was sharing a room. I've ALWAYS hated sharing anything. Me being and only child biologically I've never had to share anything so things definitely got outta hand to say the least. But I love everyone I just hate their ways and I hate my brother's decisions on life and though I may say I'm not competing but I'm competing to become nothing like him each and everyday in my parents eyes and maybe that's why I sometimes don't like him. But hey HES MY BROTHER!
Months go by & him and my pops are at it again about my brother and his jobs. Now my brother doesn't have a good track record in KEEPING his jobs...now getting them I can't lie he's a smooth talker on them job interviews but then him being a "know it all" he messes up his opportunities by not just shutting up. Now I know when you read this you gonna be like...I know he not talking...AND IS!! THIS MY BOOK MIND YA BUSINESS! But I do have my faults I can be man enough to say I used to have those not shutting up problems that's how I can spot the issue. When you can see your old issues or old self in someone you know what your talking about when it comes to the issues that people face on a daily basis cause you've faced them and maybe are still facing them to this day.

On my road to recovery I got a job back to assistant managing a Burger King after about a month of working as an employee for MCDONALDS. WHEN I TELL YOU NEVER AGAIN. I see why I'm a better manager than most they just be talking to you crazy and I would never talk to my employee like how these people be talking out they necks. But you know it taught me my value and why I should appreciate myself more than anything else because I'm smart and authentic enough to know how to talk to people and earn peoples trust and respect.

3-4 months down the line and I just got approved for my first apartment. Yes I'm excited but the stress of it all is crazy.
BUT BEFORE WE GET TO THAT LETS GET ON A TOPIC OF THIS ONE INDIVIDUAL. Someone who I have always held dear to me and how things turned from friendship to NOTHING!
We also have to get into some emotional spiritual things in the next couple chapters ! I at least want 2 more chapters before this book is finished but we'll see how the rest of the year 2023 goes.
Thank you for reading I really hope you guys enjoy this from my point of view on life!