The Way Life Goes!!: The making of "Alex"

Thats just the way it was!

Most of the times it takes a while to write a new chapter. Most of the time it's writers block feeling lost as if I can't find the words to describe the most important moments of my life. Yet I don't think....I don't ever try to pre-write anything this whole book as been a spontaneous attempt to recreate some of the most memorable moments of my life. I love reaching people in a way I didn't think in 2023 would be possible.
From 2019-2023 this book as been the most rewarding experience. Thank you for reading and being there even if you're not here.

My life hasn't always been the best, you've read most of my experiences but now it's time to dig into the main reasons and main characters of my life.

I'll take you back to before I can remember, we're going to go back to when I was 3 years old...this is where my life took a turn.
From what I remember I was always with my auntie Lisa...she was always my favorite person. My mom wasn't the best judge of character or the best character herself I was ALWAYS with my aunt Lisa. I remember washing dishes with my older cousin Maurice....that was my brother for life...at least that's what I thought then. I remember a red brick lil town house...upstairs I could never remember what was up there but I remember the stairs me and Maurice washing dishes and all we hear is the door opening and I see my mom and aunt Lisa. My aunt told Maurice to go help me pick out some clothes so I can spend the day with my mom....my aunt definitely sounded upset or "unrecognizably" annoyed but I can see it even at 3 years old. The only thing I can remember that is absolutely nothing.
From what I was told was that my mom and aunt Lisa were arguing outside while my mom was trying to put me & my car seat in the car forgetting that I was on the back of the car....as she proceeded to keep yelling and cussing my aunt out she gets in the car and drives off leaving me to falling my face and have to go to the hospital (hence the scar on my forehead I've always wondered about my entire life)which led to the police being called and then DCF...the story has been told to me so many different ways even by my mother but most of this story is from my aunt the one who was apart of the start all along. Of course she would have some recollection on what happened I mean she was there....right? Hmmmmm
After that happened all I remember is being with my auntie Cheryl....lord knows I loved that lady more than I can imagine now. Growing up I wasn't always good at following the rules...especially not by the book at least....i was always peculiar little boy...I picked up on what I saw...I spoke what I heard and was taught. Just like any kid/child. I would always get in trouble for the way I acted but it never really got bad while I was with my aunt Cheryl....
My aunt Cheryl is an old school, fiery yet loving, sweet & gentle hypocritical old woman who I love to death but I have to be honest. IT IS MY BOOK. She would always be there, she taught me my first prayer; psalms 23; she taught me how to tie my shoes, she taught me how to use the restroom, helped me with my asthma, helped me become a math prodigy (if I do say so myself), she helped me with becoming a man and learning how to clean myself, she was there when I had my first nightmares....but she was also the person to traumatize me the worst in my life.
Like I said my aunt was an old school lady...she's my moms aunt for god sakes...she used to whoop my ass now they call it child abuse...the way she was whooping my ass WAS child abuse shit at least that's what the Florida Department of Children & Families said. ANYTIME I got in trouble at school she was find the littlest excuse to hit me with something...an extension cord, leather belts, shoes, slap in the mouth with her big ass rings on her hands...after awhile I would pray that something happened to me. She would make me feel like I wanted to die. I was never treated like the other part of the family. She never beat any of her kids in front of anyone or AT ALL to my knowledge. I always felt singled out for the littlest things. After a long period of time of crying myself to sleep while I slept on her floor, or outside, or didn't sleep at all I felt like it was never going to end. I never remembered what I did to deserve being put outside to rake leaves from the nasty ass back yard to the front from 6am-5pm (that's the time she would have me outside if I got suspended from school while she had to work) I would go all day without eating until she got back yes her kids were home sometimes but they didn't care. Except my cousin Jamal she would sneak food to me when nobody was around or while people were sleeping...she would be there for me when my mom would promise to come get me and I sat at the door crying wondering where she was...JAMAL was there when everyone wouldn't play with me but would make fun of how I always got beatings and always in trouble....that part of my life was hell I'm just lucky I can't remember most of it...most likely due to the brain scar I have on my forehead lol. After going thru childhood abuse, psychological trauma, depression, suicidal ideations, is all caused me to have deep mental health issues trying to fit in or to just not give a damn at all. The police took me away from her 2x first time was 10 years old (i think) because of the abuse that the school could see she started doing the hand beating yea that was better but shit I need my hands to write and all...I started acting TF up...the first foster home they took me to was the worst I could remember...because of the trauma I was experiencing I was peeing the bed and the foster home would keep me in a car seat day in and day out because they thought it would be better that I slept in the car seat in the house "to protect myself" though it didn't I was so tired of sleeping in that damn car seat idk what happened or how I left I just remember that damn car seat and me staring at a wall crying....after awhile I remember going back to my house. She never explained what happened or anything everything just went on I was so afraid I didn't know what to expect I used to just walk on egg shells and would barely sleep cause she was the type to beat a nigha out they sleep nd out the shower...I was just always on my toes. So after awhile I just gave up and started trying to figure out wtf gonna come next...so I started looking at big shit and didn't discover what she was doing...she would cook but wouldn't give me enough to make me full or anything near to what the other kids had on their plate little shit...her kids would get real good food expensive food and big ass boxes too this is around the time Sams started coming around. So I said okay you not gonna feed me imma steal food and just terrorize shit you can't beat me anywhere else but my hand so I just started fucin up and steal from everybody but it was never ANYTHING except food and people wouldn't understand like BITCH IM HUNGRY DUH! So after awhile she got tired of me and put me back in foster care officially she told me one morning to get up and pack all of my shit together and get in her Chevy truck I didn't know what was happening. But in the mix of all the hell I was raising I would run away and go try and see my mom and tell her about the shit that was going on that lady never listened she always thought I made it up and how I "like to lie" so my aunt put me back in foster care and that was when everything started going HAYWIRE!