In the last life I had forgotten, in this life I will not.
Yet despite these brave words he kept telling himself, Madara was afraid.
What if deep down, Hashirama actually blamed him? Did he really have a special place in his heart? After all, he was simply drunk at the time...
What if- What if some part of Hashirama actually hated him?
Madara suddenly felt all the strength and courage drain him, the very thought made his heart twinge. He had lived nine years of his life walking down the path of darkness, what made him think in this life he would reach the light?
"I'll get Choetsu Ramen..." Madara spoke, his voice so quiet it frightened him. He had to build his courage, he had atoned for his crimes already, he had to help build a happy life for Hashirama! But could he? Does he deserve to be happy? To be forgiven?
"I'll have it next time." Madara finished his sentence weakly and slipped under his thick grey blankets, curling into a ball.
He wondered when that 'next time' would be.
————
"I'm coming in." Tobirama declared after knocking three times, he opened the door and walked into the Hokage's study.
"Wow." Tobirama said expressionlessly, staring at his hung-over brother who sat behind a wooden desk, centered at the front of the room.
"I know, I know." Hashirama replied, hinting for Tobirama to not say it aloud.
"You look absolutely terrible." Tobirama spoke calmly, not sparing Hashirama at all.
"Anija, you've been drinking again." Tobirama stated, and Hashirama avoided his gaze.
"All because of that bastard?" Tobirama asked, his expression turning ugly.
"Tobirama." Hashirama warned, but Tobirama proceeded to talk. How could he keep silent when his brother looked like sh*t after Madara had died?
"Anija. You've visibly lost weight, you've started regularly drinking, you've picked up a gambling habit, and you look like you haven't slept for a week! This has gone too far. You're Senju Hashirama, the Hokage of this village!" Tobirama spat, his voice gradually climbing higher in volume.
"You're our peace, our pillar! So act like one. I don't want to see my own brother fall into despair like this, can't you understand?!" Tobirama demanded, Hashirama's expression turned sad but he couldn't bring himself to look Tobirama in the eye.
"After his death, I just- I feel incomplete." Hashirama said, his voice was quiet but carried a sense of tranquility.
"It's not as bad as depression, so don't worry too much, Tobirama." Hashirama advised with a laugh. "I'm just trying to busy myself with other things so I forget."
"You're lying, Anija." Tobirama clenched his hands into fists.
"Your smile... used to be so much brighter." Tobirama's voice shook as his emotions took the best of him, which rarely happened.
"It's been three months, Anija! I know it's not as bad as depression but doing these things won't make you feel better, and you know it!" Tobirama yelled, Hashirama watched his younger brother with a pained expression. He had said that he wanted to forget about it, but they both knew he was lying.
"Tobirama, like I said-"
"Anija! He's hurt you so much in the last nine years! You've cried for him, argued with fellow Senju for him, taken the burden to fight him, but everytime he just brings you suffering!" Tobirama shouted.
YOU ARE READING
Red String of Fate
FanfictionWhen Madara was defeated, he finally realized how many regrets he had carried with him. His clan had used him as a weapon against the Senju, he was blinded with hatred and swore to take revenge for his brother, in the end he couldn't achieve anythin...
