My Dad gently drags me out the door and into the car, I buckle my seatbelt and we begin the drive to see my mother. I peer out the window to see the sky covered in a thick layer of grey fog, the rainy clouds hiding behind; the drive is silent, only the quiet hum of the radio.
* * *
Time passes quickly and sooner or later we arrive, we cross the street to choose some flowers; purple lilacs; and head back over to visit my mother. We pass the corrugated iron gates and walk down the long path, cris-crossing in between trees and bushes. We find my d, her grave stone never changes. The same words carved in each time, the same flowers laid gently across the dirt patch and the same sadness that floats around, choking the still air.
We sit there for a few minutes just staring at the stone and talking to her, I never really understood death when she passed I was only five but death didn't bother me, I guess nothing really bothers a five year old except when toys are on sale.
My mother had so called died of natural causes but I believe to differ, she was young and healthy, never sick. Her death still remains a mystery with me and I guess my Dad too. I think about all the memories we had, we didn't have many mostly ones when I was a baby so I don't remember very well; I scan her gravestone reading the engraved writing over and over when I see it. One of the bouquets of flowers contains some roses but tied to one of the stems is a note, while my Dad isn't looking I reach across and read the small card:
It's a test.
Wake up.
Die.
What? Is the only thing I can think, who? Why? What?? Who would leave this? And why?
I think about all the possible reasons why before my Dad says it's time to go. I say my goodbyes and quickly fold the card into my pocket, I shove both my hands into my pockets to protect the note from falling out.
We hop into the car as it starts to drizzle, the raindrops landing on the car as we sit in side.
I watch as the raindrops slowly drip down the window like a race, they continue down the side and slide off onto the car. The drive passes quietly as once again we sit in silence as the radio hums in between us.
