Amahle's Diary 4

Part 23

#AMAHLE

This was going to be my first birthday away from my husband and daughter and I was mos def not looking forward to it shame. I wanted my family with me mna. I woke up moody, all I wanted to do was stay in bed all day and not do anything. Checked my phone and turns out Damon has been left me a couple of missed calls and a message. Surely he didn't think I would wake up at 12am just to listen to him sing me happy birthday. I love my sleep thank you very much. I had quite a number of messages and missed calls. I actually had a reminder set for my birthday, don't judge me ok. It makes me feel sort of special when I check my screen and the alarm pops up with the writing "Wake Up Ama today is yours and Aya's birthday <3 :* ^_^ ". It's something we personalized when we were still young, I never got the chance to change it. I sat up with my phone in my hand, it sunk into me that I was getting married and my best friend wasn't there to share the moment with me. Tears fell as I remembered when we kids and planning our wedding day and how she and I were going to get married right after our birthdays so that our husbands could wish us a happy birthday in front of the whole congregation. Depression had me by the balls. I reread the message Aya had sent me on the night she died and it really hit home, tears just kept rolling down to my pillow. I missed her so much especially today. I read Damon's message hoping it will cheer me up, it read; "I know you probably sleeping and everything but I want to wish you the happiest of birthdays sthandwa sami. Please please don't stay in bed all depressed and reminiscing about things you have no control over. Aya is in a better place and I am certain she misses you as much as you miss her. As you read this I want you to remember that Aya's spirit lives in our daughter so if you feel like you want to talk to her, Yana is there and so being I. I love you Mrs Bess and I can't wait to remarry you tomorrow. Go out and enjoy your birthday ok? Oh and uuhm before I forget, kiss my babies for me ok?! I love you guys mwaaah." And yep his message did cheer me up, it put a smile on my face. I got up and showered. I was the only one awake, Jen and Sage were still sleeping. After showering and everything else I wore my sandals, white maxi dress and took my car keys and headed out. In the kitchen I bumped into Mom and Nathi.

Me: morning ladies

Mom: hey birthday girl

Ana: morning youngin'. Happy birthday Mrs him

I blushed.

Mom: where to so early?

Me: to corana

Ana: oh....

Mom: aren't you going to eat first?

Me: I'm not hungry

Ana: But the babies you carrying are. Sit down I'll make you something to eat.

Me: fine??

I took a seat and Nathi prepared me muesli with vanilla yoghurt... I ate in silence while they engaged in a conversation I had no interest in. When I was done eating I took my things and left after saying my goodbyes to them. They told me to be back early because there were still things that needed to be done. Like doing facials, nails, fetching the cake, final dress fitting and everything else. The tent was being décor was being put up today. I drove to Corana and went straight to the garden where Aya was laid to rest. The house in Corana had a lady and man that took care of it when Aya's parents weren't around. I sat on the tomb thingy.

Me: family is not only blood relation but some family is chosen and the role you've played in my life has been nothing but significant. You were more than a friend; more than a sister you were my better half. Tomorrow was supposed to be our wedding day not just mine alone. Our husbands are supposed to be declaring their love to us in front of our friends and family. You were supposed to be my maid of honour and I yours but hey it's ok... things don't always go as we would like them to right?! You may not be there physically but I know you'll be there watching over me friend as you always have these past years'. Happy birthday twinny and may you enjoy our day same way I'll try enjoy it. Mwaaah.