I don't know, I don't know if one day I can be cured, I don't know if I can live with this all my life, enduring ups and downs, I don't know if I can be completely fine, I'm afraid my life is based on the fear of abandonment although it's ironic I'm always I'm the one who leaves before wanting to avoid that fear, stop drinking, stop smoking, episodes of anxiety are strong when you don't have something to lean on, I've been trying to get out of bed for days, putting a smile on my face every that I have to see someone at school, it's so hard for me to breathe it feels like every damn minute you're going to die like someone's squeezing your heart and it hurts so much you want to cry that you want to make yourself small and think that Everything will be alright, I don't know if one day I'll be alright I don't even know if I'll be able to live long, lately I only think about my death over and over again it's so fucked up... Should I die? Should I consider it? Is it selfish to live for someone else? or die because you want to be in peace?
I've been looking for help for two weeks or more, I can't find anything and I can't afford to pay for something that I can solve myself right? But I also don't know when the time will be when I just give in to the thoughts and finally just do it and die.
I still don't know what will happen, although I don't know how to solve it, I'm just trying to endure just a little more please
YOU ARE READING
Don't Read This Book
RastgeleI wrote this book so that some people understand a little about the disorder and also so that I could say what happens many times when I have a crisis or I just get depressed, life is usually shit but if you write it you free yourself a little...
