"Okay Mer, are you ready to do this?" Dr Bailey asked a weak Meredith.
Meredith nods, feeling exhausted and weak. She just wants this whole thing to be over with, whether she gets cured or she dies in the process but she's just so exhausted.
Dr Bailey starts to roll Meredith's gurney down the hallway.
"Wait!" Meredith weakly calls out.
"What is it sweetie? You okay?" Dr Bailey asks her, holding her hand out to the others around Meredith's gurney. "You doing okay sweetie?"
"I'm scared." Meredith whispers. "I want Derek."
"Derek's getting ready for your surgery. He's waiting for you in the OR already. Everything will be just fine." Dr Bailey promises her intern. She never makes promises when it comes to her patients' lives but this patient is a whole other story. She is not willing to let this patient die. It will not happen under her watch.
Meredith has tears streaming down her face at this point. "O-Okay." She whispers. "Is Cristina scrubbing in?"
"She is. We needed our best intern on your surgery. Nothing but the best for you." Dr Bailey strokes Meredith's head to soothe her. "You'll see them as soon as we get in there. Okay?"
"Uh huh." Meredith whispers.
Dr Bailey nods at the others and they continue rolling Meredith's gurney to the OR. Soon they arrive at the OR and she gets pushed inside and next to the table.
Meredith is too weak to move on her own so they move her using the blanket underneath her to get her to the operating table.
Meredith's eyes dart around the room looking for Derek and Cristina. She whimpers in fear. "Where's Derek and Cris?" She whispers all panicked.
"They're just scrubbing in. They'll be right in, sweetie." Dr Bailey says gently.
Meredith is hooked back up to the heart monitor and other equipment to monitor her vital signs.
One of the scrub nurses gently takes her arm and stretches it out and straps it down to the table. Meredith's eyes follow everything the nurse does and she softly whimpers. The scrub nurse then puts another safety strap across Meredith's abdomen and her legs. Meredith is becoming even more scared as this is happening.
"B-Bailey!" Meredith whimpers.
"Shh, I know sweetie. You're just fine. I see Derek and Cristina coming right now." Dr Bailey says, smiling at Meredith.
Meredith moves her head and sees the two coming towards her. "Derek! Cris, I'm scared!" Meredith sobs.
"You will be just fine Meredith. You are not dying today." Derek soothes, taking hold of her hand, not caring that he now has to rescrub.
"I don't want to die." Meredith cries. "I'm scared."
"You are not dying today! You hear me? I will not let that happen. You better stay away from that light." Cristina says to her.
Meredith is having IV's inserted into her as they are talking to her. She starts to feel a little sleepy as the medicine goes into her body.
"I love you." Meredith whispers to Derek.
"I love you more." Derek leans down and gives her a kiss on the forehead.
"If I don't make it..."
Derek shakes his head. "You will make it. You are not dying today. I love you so much Meredith Grey and I will do everything I can to keep you alive during this surgery!"
"It's so risky though..." Meredith rasps out.
"It is but you are going to beat the odds. I love you Mer. You are going to wake up and the cancer will be all gone. I promise you."
"Dr Shepherd, we need to begin." The anesthesiologist says, as he comes and sits down behind Meredith's head.
Derek nods.
Meredith's eyes widened in fear.
"You're okay." Derek says softly. "I love you Meredith. You will be just fine." He nods at the anesthesiologist who then places the mask over her mouth and nose and she drifts off to sleep.
"I still don't think you should be operating on her Shepherd! You're way too close!" Bailey frowns.
"I'm the best we have and you know it! She needs every chance she can get! I will not let her die!" Derek says. "Let's begin. It's a beautiful day to save lives. Let's have some fun."
Derek starts the operation and everything is going smoothly. At first.
"Her heart is racing! It's going tachy!" Derek yells out for someone to give him something to get Meredith's heart rate under control.
"Here you go Dr Shepherd." A scrub nurse says. The medicine is quickly injected into her IV. Her heart rate stabilizes for a few before it quickly plummets.
"Dr Shepherd! Her heart won't stabilize!" Cristina yells, panicking.
Meredith's heart all of a sudden starts to flatline.
"Give me the paddles!" Derek yells and they are quickly handed to him. "Charge to 120! Clear!"
Her heart rate stays the same.
"Charge to 250! Clear!" Derek shocks Meredith with the defibrillator but her heart stays the same.
Minutes pass.
"Dr Shepherd. You need to call it. It's been 20 minutes." A scrub nurse says.
"No! She's gonna be fine! I promised her! Charge to 360 again!"
The nurse sighs and looks away but does what he says.
"Clear!" He shocks her again.
Nothing changes.
"Derek." Cristina forces out. "You need to call it." She says tearfully with tears running down her face.
Derek looks at Meredith's face and tears continue streaming down his face. "Time of death: 14:22." He whispers. "I can't do this." He continues to stare at Meredith's still body lying on the table.
He collapses onto his knees next to the operating table and sobs on the floor. "Meredith! I need you! I love you so much! I can't live without you."
"I know." Dr Bailey says, appearing out of nowhere. "Come on, they need this OR. The people from the morgue are here. They need to take her body now. Come on. You don't want to see that."
"I need to go." Derek sobs.
"Why don't you go into an on call room and get some sleep?" Dr Bailey soothes.
Derek nods. "On call room. Sleep. Okay." He whispers, out of it. Dr Bailey helps him quickly scrub out and then leads him to an on-call room where he falls asleep immediately.
———
Dr Bailey opens the on-call room door and sees Derek sleeping. "Dr Shepherd! Are you still doing that surgery? I still don't think it's a good idea to operate on your girlfriend..."
"Huh?" Derek asks, confused, waking up. "I did the surgery already. She didn't make it." He whispers, starting to cry.
"What are you talking about? She's in her room asking for you. She wants to see you before her surgery."
"She's alive? Mer's alive?" Derek asks, jumping up.
"She is. You had a bad dream. Meredith is alive, Derek. You didn't do the surgery yet."
SORRY 🤣
Anyways I hope you all enjoyed and don't hate me :)
