In Every Lifetime

Chapter Thirty Six

Kongpob waited with baited breath as he allowed both himself and Arthit to digest the reality of what Arthit had just said. This spot, this very spot was where he had lost Arthit for good in this lifetime. It was where everything had come to an end for Arthit.

What happened? Did it hurt? Why did it happen? Kongpob had so many questions but he knew this was not the time to quench his curiosity. Right now, the moment belonged to Arthit. He needed to let the other reveal everything at his own pace, even if it drove him crazy not knowing. To be this close to finally understanding everything, it was almost unbelievable for Kongpob. He had thought the topic would stay closed with Arthit keeping mum every time he brought it up.

"They'd take turns each week to offer flowers for me." Arthit said wistfully, squatting down to prod at the bouquet of flowers. "The gang I mean. Knott always gets me sunflowers. I can never differentiate when Bright or Tootah are the ones getting the flowers. Prem likes the traditional garlands."

"Then these are probably either from P'Bright or P'Tootah aren't they?" Kongpob replied softly, grabbing Arthit's hand in his own to pull him back to his side. The bright bouquet of ostentatious flowers sat cheerfully at the sidewalk in an almost ironic view.

Arthit hummed, leaning his chin on Kongpob's shoulder. "Definitely. These are too loud for the other two's taste." He chuckled weakly, contemplating his next words.

Kongpob absentmindedly rubbed at the small of Arthit's back, hoping to provide him some comfort. "It was kind of my fault," Arthit admitted, his voice small and meek. "I shouldn't have been parked there, near the junction. It was raining so hard and I couldn't drive, I was crying and I thought it would be safer if I stayed by the roadside with my hazard lights on but the rain made the lorry swerve and it.. It hit me dead on."

Arthit squeezed his eyes shut, remembering what had happened before he had appeared in the other realm. "All I remember was the bright headlights really, and then there was a big crash and then, pain, just for a little while."

He wrapped an arm around Kongpob. He had been dead for years, the memory of his death shouldn't scare him this much anymore. And yet, remembering how it felt in his last moments, as he whispered for anyone to help him, was a lot more difficult than he thought it would be.

"It was a freak accident really," he tried to say lightly. "It probably only felt long because it was the last few moments of my life."

Unable to take it anymore, Kongpob dragged Arthit to a small alleyway yet again so that he'd be hidden from view. Once he was sure they were well tucked away from prying eyes, he pulled Arthit in for a long comforting hug. Out of all the things Arthit had said, there was just one thing that stuck running circles in his head.

"Why were you crying, Oon?" Kongpob whispered, stroking the other's hair as he kept him securely tucked in his embrace.

Arthit tensed in response and Kongpob knew he had hit the nail on the head. He waited patiently, for Arthit's body to relax and in turn, his mind.

"Promise me you won't think any less of them?" Arthit mumbled so softly that Kongpob nearly couldn't hear him. Nodding, he pulled Arthit ever so tighter to himself, giving his husband whatever courage he needed to say the next words.

"I.. I had an argument with my parents. It was probably more of a disagreement honestly." Arthit started, sighing. "I'd finally come out to them that night." He paused, waiting for any reaction from the other who was now hugging him with an iron grip but Kongpob said nothing so he continued.

"I knew it was going to be difficult but I just.. I didn't want to hide it anymore. It was eating at me from the inside." Arthit carried on, sniffling a little. His heart still stung at the memory, the rejection. And most of all, the disappointment.