In Every Lifetime

Chapter Twenty Seven

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Mrs Sutthiluck asked quietly, fiddling with Kongpob's tie.

"You can still back out of this."

"Mae," Kongpob smiled, giving her a light hug. "I'm fine. Really. I want this."

"But why? If it was because of the promise I made Nan, you don't.."

"Mae. Stop, please. It really isn't because of you." Kongpob sighed.

Pulling his mother along gently with him, he seated her gently upon his bed that was adorned with red sheets. Pulling up his desk chair to sit right in front of her, he cradled her hands in his, thinking of the best way to phrase what he was about to say next.

"When I said it was for me, I meant it."

Kongpob took a deep breath, before staring at her dead in the eye.

"Remember when I was a child.. I told you I needed to return to Bangkok? I told you someone was waiting for me to find him. And everytime I told you about him, I cried. That's when you told me it was all just a bad dream and that it would stop eventually?"

Mrs Sutthiluck gasped. Surely it couldn't. No. That would be impossible.

"It's Arthit mae. He's the one I've been dreaming about all these years. I've never stopped dreaming about him. Not once." Kongpob admitted, hanging his head. He'd been hiding the fact that he was still dreaming about his past life so that his parents would stop worrying.

"Oh Kong.."

"I'm sorry mae, but I really want to do this." Kongpob whispered, a tear leaving its mark on his grey pants. "All my life, I'd wanted to meet him. But now that I can't.."

Mrs Sutthiluck quickly stood up and pulled her youngest child into her arms tight, hugging his head to her chest.

"I'm so sorry sweetie, I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

"No.. It isn't your fault. I just.. I wanted to at least have a small connection with him. Then maybe now I could let him go." Kongpob breathed, tears streaming continuously.

"I'm sure he would love to have a husband this good looking then. He is a very lucky man." His mother cooed, stroking his hair gently. "No more tears now, I can't have the groom of the night looking like a mess. She pulled a tissue and dapped his face softly.

"Let's go get your man, shall we?" She smiled genuinely, and Kongpob grinned back, nodding.

Mr Sutthiluck stood outside the room waiting, giving Kongpob a warm hug when he had stepped out. He opened his mouth and was about to say something but his wife tugged on his jacket, shaking her head indicating 'no'. Kongpob smiled reassuringly, squeezing his father's hand before stepping up to his future parent-in-laws.

Mrs Rojnapat caught his hands in hers, as she thanked him. Her voice broke a little as she told him about Arthit.

"He was such a free spirited child. We never really stopped him from doing what he wanted. Not really. Not until.." She trailed off, ducking her head down to hide her tears.

"He would have liked you." She smiled tearfully at Kongpob, caressing his cheeks. "You look like his type." She added on so softly Kongpob wasn't sure he had heard it right.

"Thank you for doing this. It is just a ceremony so.. If you ever wished to marry someone else.."

"Don't worry about me, Pa," Kongpob flashed a small smile. "I really do want to do this."

"Thank you, your mum was right. You are a good boy," she sniffed. "You can call me Mae, don't be so courteous. We're going to be family now."

As the elders moved into their positions, Kongpob took a good look around the hall. He had never imagined things to turn out like ths. He had always thought he would find the boy of his dreams, get to know him and maybe, rekindle some old flames. But this - this was most definitely not what he had expected. To say what he felt now was complicated to say the least. He didn't quite know how to feel.

He secretly wondered if all he was destined for were ghost marriages. The last time around, he was the dead partner. But at least he had time with Oon, as a live person. But this time around, the fates really had played a cruel trick on him. He never had the chance to even meet Oon in person. He wondered if ghost marriages still worked the same in this era, if he would eventually be able to meet his dead husband. However, even that was based on the assumption that Arthit had yet to move on. It had been two years after all.

So here he was, attempting to grab hold of the last thing that would bind the two of them together. He wondered if this was what Oon in felt in their last life, standing here in front of the altar and their parents. Looking to the effigy that had been placed in replacement of Oon to his left, he sighed. Maybe it really was time to put an end to this dream that has literally lasted his entire lifetime till now.

Once everyone had taken their places, Kongpob moved himself into position wordlessly.

His mother nodded as he took a deep breath to begin the ceremony. It was strange, going through it all by himself.

A first bow to the heavens and earth for the gods' blessings.

A second bow to the parents for their good blessings.

A last bow to his partner to signify respect for each other and their relationship.

Kneeling on the pad in front of his parents, Kongpob offered up the tea to them.

"I hope you get your closure now my dear." His mother stroked his cheek gently.

Kongpob nodded, as his father clapped him on the shoulder wordlessly. His parents were soon replaced by the Rojnapats who were both tearing as he offered them their tea.

"Thank you my boy," Mr Rojnapat said, wiping a tear away with a handkerchief. "I really hope this brings him joy."

Kongpob smiled and replied sincerely.

"I hope so too."

Finally returning to his room to rest for the day, Kongpob fell back upon his bed. Here he was in his beautifully decorated wedding room. It was similar to how he had envisioned his wedding would be like with only one big difference - he was still very much alone. His emotions and feelings had been all over the place the whole day, both anticipating and yet dreading being married.

Holding a picture of Arthit above his head, he sighed. Mrs Rojnapat had very kindly given him a picture of him. In it his smile was so incredibly brilliant Kongpob was sure he would have melted if he ever had the chance to see it in person.

But he didn't.

Mrs Rojnapat had shared a few things about her son over their first dinner as a family. It seemed like this Arthit had retained a few of his familiar traits from his previous life. It warmed Kongpob greatly that at the very least, it felt like he knew this Arthit a little through the previous, even if he never had the chance to meet him.

Sighing deeply again, he wondered what his life would have been like if he had actually known Arthit when they were kids. Would they have developed a relationship much like the way they had in their previous life? Was Arthit as cute as he was then? Would he still blush the same way he did? All these answers were now to remain unanswered. Kongpob lightly touched the ring that now sat on his ring finger. It felt familiar and foreign all at the same time. Even though it was meant to just be a ceremony, he had wanted to buy themselves a set of wedding rings nevertheless.

That way he could truly be tied to the Arthit of this lifetime.

With his mind full of thoughts of his new husband, Kongpob slowly drifted to sleep, ready to meet the Arthit of his dreams who would never belong to him. The Arthit who haunted his dreams every night. Under his breath, he cursed at the Kongpob of the past, as his heart clenched in pain.

He would never get to know Arthit in this lifetime.

~***~

Author's note:

It's a little dreary I know but I really wanted to show Kongpob's turn at the wedding.

Also..

I'm not ready for KongArt Week!!!! Someone please save me.