In Every Lifetime

Chapter Thirty Nine

"P'Tum, congratulations again!" Kongpob greeted the groom as he met the other while on his search for his elusive husband.

"Ow, Nong Kong! When is it going to be your turn? I always thought you were going to be one of the first in your group to get married. Your suitors were always everywhere!" The elder teased, patting him on the back.

Kongpob grinned sheepishly. It was one thing to tell Aim about his ghost marriage and a whole other to tell someone who wasn't his best friend. Ghost marriages were almost taboo, with so many bad implications around them.

While many did it out of good will to appease the dead, there were others who took advantage of the situation as well. There was an exclusive black market just for people to seek partners for ghost marriages and often resulted in people going to the extremes like grave robbing for remains. It wasn't every day there were willing people who were still alive to agree to a ghost marriage like Kongpob did.

"There is someone Phi, someone who is very important to me." Kongpob smiled.

"But..?" Tum cocked his head questioningly. Kongpob had always been a straightforward person. It wasn't like him, beating about the bush.

"But I may have to make a very difficult decision soon. How do I know I am making the right decision? What if the person hates me after I do?"

Tum smiled knowingly and patted him on the shoulder. "Kongpob, being in love doesn't mean you do everything the way the person wants it to be done. Being in love means you do everything you can for the person because you think of the other's best interest."

"And what if that means letting go of the person?" Kongpob whispered, afraid to say the words he had been running from all this while.

"Loving a person doesn't equate to owning the person. Fon and I may be married now, but she is very much still her own person. You may not know it but we've had our ups and downs too. If she had chosen to leave me then for the sake of herself, I would have let her go." Tum admitted. "Love is complicated that way."

"But what if I need to let go for that person's sake? And the person doesn't want to?"

"I don't know what kind of situation you are in Kongpob, but this doesn't sound like something you should make a decision on your own. Talk to the person. I'm sure you can come to an agreement on something. Communication is always key."

Kongpob nodded sadly. Of course he knew all of these. But if what he had suspected was right, there would be no talking to Arthit about it. Because if the tables were turned and it was him in Arthit's shoes, there was no way he would allow Arthit to do what he was planning to. Not in a million years.

"Thanks P'Tum. I'll do my best." He thanked his senior sincerely.

Tum grinned, hitting him harder on the shoulder. "Make sure I get to attend your wedding before Fon and I have children eh?" With that, the groom made his way towards the rest of the guests, leaving Kongpob deep in thought.

"Do your best on what?"

Kongpob jumped, spinning around to see a disgruntled Arthit still pouting at him. At the sight of Arthit, he couldn't help the grin that was creeping upon his face. Arthit's frown deepened as he watched the cheeky look on his husband's face spread.

Dropping his voice low so that no one else could hear him talking, he slid himself closer to Arthit and whispered into his ear. "In the love-making department."

"Kongpob!!" Arthit exclaimed and marched away from his husband for the second time that night.

Kongpob watched his husband's back walk away from him and smiled wistfully. He was going to have to talk to Arthit's parents soon. Coughing a little, he shook his head and tucked the thought away for another day. At least while Aim was here, he wanted to have fun and enjoy having both his lover and his best friend together with him.

A man could be selfish for a little while right?

~***~

Kongpob laid on his side, tenderly stroking Arthit's fringe that was covering his eyes. He sincerely prayed for the sanity of his best friend that he couldn't hear anything that went on in their bedroom but the thought that they were on a countdown made him a little more enthusiastic that night.

He stifled a cough, something he was doing a little more than often now. He'd always brush it off as asthma related whenever Arthit questioned him about it but the blood stained tissues were telling him otherwise. It was a good thing that between him and Arthit, he was the one who was sticky whereas Arthit seemed perfectly fine giving him space.

He chuckled to himself, probably because he'd spent his entire life dreaming about the other man; he still felt like he was in a dream at all times while they were together. He sighed, tenderly tracing the other's features. No matter how many times he touched Arthit, he couldn't believe how lucky he was. Even though their situation was clearly unique, bizarre even, he still thought that the heavens favoured them. Lovers may pledge to be together all their lives and to meet again in their next lives, but how many could actually live to say that that was true for them.

When he stifled back yet another cough, the other's eyes flew open, concerned. Arthit never slept - he didn't need to. So he often pretended that he was after sex because he felt embarrassed. What he didn't know was that his red ears were a dead giveaway of how he was feeling anyway.

"Kong? Are you okay?" Arthit asked, rubbing Kongpob's back as the coughing increased.

After a few moments and finally controlling his coughs, Kongpob drew Arthit in closer, tucking his head under his own as he nuzzled the other's hair. His husband always smelled so nice. Perks of being dead he assumed.

"I'm okay Oon, don't worry."

"Are you sure?" The muffled voice floated to his ears and the hand that was rubbing his back never stopped even as the owner moved to press their bodies closer. "That didn't sound like 'okay'. Maybe you should go to the doctor's."

"Mmm I'm okay really, I just choked," Kongpob assured him, hugging him impossibly close.

"Now what would you be choking on out of nowhere?" Arthit grumbled.

"My love. I just realised how much I love you that I practically choked on it. You know how people say they get choked on their words? That was exactly it."

Arthit groaned, rolling his eyes as he buried his face into the other's chest. Why on earth was his husband like that? Kongpob's laughter soon filled the room and the notion of visiting the doctor was pushed aside for another day. While he knew he probably couldn't push the visit anymore as his symptoms grew day by day, Kongpob was grateful for the distraction and would take any delay he could. Afterall, he could feel fully well what was happening to himself and the words of P'Deer rang clearly in his memory.

Humans and spirits were never meant to stay together Kongpob, there is a reason why the two are separated with death. Arthit is your equivalent other half. The Yin Yang balance must always be kept. Since he married you with the status of your 'wife', he is the Yin half in your relationship. Under normal circumstances, you would be the Yang to his Yin. But since you are dead, that makes you full of Yin as well and too much Yin for a person will kill them eventually. As long as one of you is alive and the other is dead, the Yin will eventually overpower the Yang. Even if the tables were reversed and the one who is alive is the one with the Yang role, the Yin of the other would eventually throw the live person's own Yin Yang out of balance. I hate to break it to you brother, but there was no way this would have ended well regardless.

Kongpob sighed once more, his thoughts conflicted. If he was going to run short of time eventually, it would be best for Arthit to move on without him right? Afterall, he had already been trapped here for two years. There was no reason to keep him here any longer, only to have him watch Kongpob die.