Marked By Darkness

Chapter 29- Complicated

Ruhi's POV...

I stare at my phone, my thumb hovering over the screen. The words I’ve been wanting to send hang in the air, and my heart beats erratically. I can’t do this. I tell myself, I shouldn’t, but then I open the message window anyway.

Sighing heavily, I start typing, my fingers trembling.

Message
Sounak, please, just five minutes. I need to see you.

I stare at the message for what feels like an eternity before pressing send. Almost immediately, my pulse races, waiting for his reply. But then, nothing. I’m about to put my phone down when it buzzes, causing me to jump.

I glance at the screen, hoping—no, praying—it’s him.

Sounak: It’s not a good time right now, Ruhi. I’m swamped with work.

My chest tightens, a familiar ache settling in. I bite my lip, trying to keep the panic in check. I could just give up. I should. But I can’t.

I quickly type back, my fingers moving faster than my thoughts.

Ruhi: I just need five minutes, Sounak. I need to see you.

This time, I wait longer. My palms are sweaty. Every passing second feels like an hour. Finally, the three little dots appear on the screen, and my breath catches.

Sounak: Ruhi, I can’t.

I read it again. "I can’t."

I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. I feel something in my chest crack. A small, almost imperceptible piece of me shatters. But I can't stop now.

Ruhi: Please. Just five minutes.

Another pause. And then—

Sounak: I seriously can’t Ruhi.

I set my phone down for a second, my fingers shaking. I can’t breathe.

I think of all the times we laughed together, all the things we shared. How was it so easy for him to just shut me out?

I take a deep breath, but it doesn’t help. I can feel the panic rising in my throat.

Ruhi: If I ask you one more time, will you say yes?

I don't expect him to answer. But then, the response comes.

Sounak: Ruhi, stop. We’re not like that. You know we’re not.

My hands drop to my lap, and I stare at the message, trying to swallow the bitterness that rises in my throat. His words feel like they’ve been carved into my skin, and I can't breathe.

Ruhi: Then what are we?

Sounak: You’re my friend. That’s it.

I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling the sting of his words hit harder than I thought it would. I was foolish to think it could be anything more. Foolish to hope for something that wasn’t ever there.

I wait. I stare at my phone.

But the words don’t come. Nothing more from him.

Finally, I turn the screen off and tuck my phone into my pocket. It feels heavier than it should.

---

Later, Esha knocks on my door. I’m curled up in a ball on the couch, and the sound of her voice cuts through the fog in my head.

“Ruhi, are you okay?” she asks, her voice softer than usual.

I don’t answer right away, not sure what to say. She steps inside and sits down beside me, pulling my legs into her lap.

“I don’t know, Esha,” I whisper. “I don’t know what’s real anymore.”

Her hand gently strokes my hair, and she sighs. “You don’t have to figure everything out right now, Ruhi. We’re in this together.”

I nod but don’t look at her. I’m tired, tired of pretending I’m fine. Tired of convincing myself that everything will work out.

“I don’t think I can do this,” I murmur, looking at my hands. “I keep thinking about him, and I don’t know how to stop.”

Esha shakes her head, leaning in to catch my gaze. “You need to stop torturing yourself, Ruhi. You can’t keep holding onto something that isn’t real. He’s not the person you think he is. He doesn’t feel the same way. And you know that deep down.”

I try to force back the tears, but they come anyway, slipping down my face faster than I can wipe them away.

Esha doesn’t say anything, just holds me. She lets me cry, lets the silence stretch between us. I don’t even know how long we sit there like that. All I know is I feel broken.

“I thought he loved me,” I choke out, barely able to breathe through the sobs. “I thought... maybe... just maybe...”

Esha pulls me into her arms, her voice firm and gentle. “You thought wrong, Ruhi. And that’s okay. You’ll heal. You’ll get stronger. But you have to let go.”

I close my eyes, imagining the life I thought we would have. And in the quiet, I finally admit the one thing I’ve been avoiding.

“I can’t let go,” I whisper.

Esha pulls me closer. “You will. But right now, you need to focus on what’s best for you. Don’t let him drag you down with him.”

I nod into her shoulder, wishing I could take her advice. But the pain in my chest feels too big, too real to ignore.

---

Later, as I lie in bed, I replay every word Sounak said. I wonder if things would have turned out differently if I had asked him sooner, if I had been more honest with myself about how I felt.

I wish I had been braver, but instead, I just feel... empty.