PARALYZED: Us Against The World

Lambert.

I'm not sure what she sees in me that pulls her closer and closer to me. Sure we started things on the wrong foot with me behind this cold hearted kid from class but not enough reason for her to pick interest in me.

Nobody even notices me that much back there. In school, I'm just like a grain of sand amongst many other grains. Unnoticed; even the school doesn't notices me that much.

I think the only person in school that's ever cared to pick interest in me is the principal (I mean and maybe including Nimi). She used to be a friend of mom, she still is despite the distance in relationship at the moment. I bet mom's shared a thing or two with her that's why she's managed to to display a significant amount of concern towards me.

Sure, maybe it's because I'm a statesman's kid but then yet again, it's too genuine to be just that. It feels real.

At least I've gat someone to watch my back, someone who actually cares.

Aside, From the principal, I use to have someone else that had my back.

"You're early." Nimi says.

"Yeah. I guess."

💙

She's right about Nimi's hight if she was on her feet. Both share similar resemblance. I strongly feel it's the resemblance that draws me closer to Nimi for some reason I myself haven't figured out.

Her mom use to be a friend of my mom. Both were always coming around our house.

We where always chatting on Facebook and WhatsApp, we where definitely like glue and paper. She even attended our school for a short while before changing school when her parents moved to a different city. But still we remained in touch. Nothing could sperate us, I mean it was so we thought.

Everton was what we use to call her around our house. It was a nickname I gave her from the Everton football club jersey she was found of wearing. Her actual name was Grace.

When dad started turning cold, I had a shoulder to lean on. She taught me how to use a journal and according to her, it's more closer than a friend, it listens to the cry of the heart.

Things changed when she stopped texting and calling. I thought she moved on. For the longest time, I thought she turned away from our friendship.

Later on discovered she was ill from mom, it was really bad. We showed our support.

Sure we tried but life is cruel. She passed away. She lost the fight to cancer.

The true behind the move was to get help from doctors more equiped according to what we heard later on.

Mom loved that girl genuinely as if she was her own that's why after her passing, mom's dedicated her service to helping those in need of medical redress, mainly those lacking finances in the fight against cancer.

Six months after her passing I attempted to take my life. It took longer than expected to attempt suicide.

Just there, in my bathroom, I was right about to cut through my veins with a knife I got somewhere from the kitchen. I didn't do it, I couldn't do it. I guess I was a chicken. I bet if I had died there no one would notice.

Even till this day, no one knows I've attempted to take my life multiple times. I guess no one just seems to notice me.

I have this hair clip of her's that's been a reminder of all the good times we had together.