Let you go | changjin

19. If we stay like this

"Love?" Hyunjin entered the kitchen, "Are you okay?"

Changbin hummed in response while preparing coffee for the guests. He turned on the coffee machine and watched as the dark liquid dripped into the cups.

Hyunjin spun him around carefully and kissed his forehead. "I can tell something is wrong and I'm worried about you," he murmured gazing into the shorter's weary eyes.

That was exactly what Changbin didn't want him to do; to worry about him. He put on a small smile and stood on his tippy toes to peck the blond's lips. "I'm all right."

Hyunjin sighed and hugged his smaller frame. "I won't pressure you into speaking but I'm here, okay?"

Changbin hugged him back and hid his face in the material of his shirt. "I know. Thanks," he replied.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Minseok waddled to them shouting excitingly with Kkami trailing behind him. Changbin gently pushed the blond away and crouched. The little boy grabbed his pinky and urged him to follow him.

"We built a tower! Look, look!" the boy cheered, showing him the colourful bricks. "Auntie Jinjin told us a story about a princess who was locked up in a tower. Mommy, you will be the princess and daddy will be the prince. I will be the dragon!"

"The princess should be a girl, baby," Mrs Hwang corrected the boy, smiling sweetly. "Why don't you ask Jennie to play instead?"

The boy put on his thinking face, puffing his lower lip a little. Of course, he was too naive to see through her scheme. Changbin on the other hand knew her too well to treat her suggestion as innocent.

"Hmm," the boy mused, "but I want mommy to play the princess. Mommy Binnie is as pretty as a princess, and daddy loves mommy very much."

Changbin looked at Minseok in bewilderment. He didn't expect the child to oppose his grandma's idea so easily. Hyunjin broke into a proud smile and ruffled his son's hair affectionally.

"You're right, baby," he chuckled before turning to face Changbin, "I love your mommy very much."

Feeling embarrassed, Changbin averted his eyes and caught a glimpse of Jennie's heartbroken facial expression. He didn't know why but he felt bad for her. She was Minseok's real mother after all.

"Mommy?" the boy made him snap back to reality as his tiny hand grabbed his own.

"Huh? Oh," Changbin smiled apologetically, "How about you play a knight and auntie Jennie a princess, hm? Your daddy can play a dragon who wants to kidnap the princess. The knight has to make sure the princess is safe," he proposed and bopped his nose, "Only you are brave enough to play the part."

The boy looked at him attentively before he grinned and clapped his tiny hands, beaming, "Okie! I will save auntie Jennie from daddy!"

[...]

When all of the guests left, Hyunjin took the boy upstairs to bathe him and tuck him into bed while Changbin cleaned the living room. The house was silent except for sporadic squeaks of a toy Kkami was chewing on.

Changbin fetched the last plate to the sink and began to scrub the stacked dirty dishes absentmindedly. He couldn't stop thinking about how sad Jennie looked whenever Minseok called him mommy. Did he dislike her? No. She didn't seem like a bad person.

Truth be told, he kind of understood her point of view. She had been young and assumably immature when she became pregnant. Not to mention the relationship she and Hyunjin had had been artificially created from the beginning. Changbin couldn't really blame her for feeling overwhelmed and wanting to flee from her parents' crushing expectations. She did seem to regret her decision to leave her son.

Changbin hated to admit it but she probably would have been the best mother Minseok could have if she had stayed with Hyunjin. Without realizing it, doubts began to lurk in his mind again.

He put away the last clean glass and closed the tap with a sigh. If only they had been carefree teenagers again. Life had been much easier back then. He recalled the day when Hyunjin confessed to him. He was a blushing mess. Changbin smiled dreamily. It was probably the only time he had seen the younger so nervous.

The blond had been a real heart stealer back in the high school days. Changbin had always admired him from afar. Whenever their eyes met his heart would skip a beat. He wondered how Hyunjin even fell for him in the first place.

“Hey,” the blond caught his attention walking up to him and wrapping his arm around his waist. “I told you I would clean after I was done with Minseok. Why didn't you just relax as I told you?”

“What am I? A princess?” Changbin frowned.

Hyunjin smirked and leaned in, “Of course you are,” he whispered against his lips teasingly before kissing him, “My Binderella.”

Changbin kissed him back and chuckled no longer angry at his boyfriend.

“Oh yes?” he mused, “Then, my dear prince charming, take me upstairs and–”

A loud ringing cut in. Hyunjin sighed exasperatedly and reached for the phone in his pocket. He apologized to Changbin saying it was his mother and walked away to take the call.

Changbin put his lips in a line and poured himself a glass of water. The uncomfortable feelings from earlier settled in the pit of his stomach again. He gulped down the refreshing liquid and cleaned his glass. He turned off the light and walked upstairs to take a shower, not waiting for the younger to end the call and get back to him.

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