Let you go | changjin

22. Mistakes

Changbin's phone kept buzzing but he did not plan on answering it. He knew who the caller was even without taking the phone out of his pocket and checking it. A part of him felt guilty for leaving the house without a word but he had no other option. He could not stand arguing with the younger. He was scared to hear those words from him; that cold, heart-stabbing "I don't love you anymore".

Walking to the nearest bus stop, Changbin tried to figure out whether or not he should go to Chan and Seungmin. Hyunjin knew them and, sooner or later, he was going to realize where he was. Changbin did not want to be a burden, but where he could go? He had moved out of his previous flat.

He mindlessly watched again and again as the busses stopped and pulled out. Where should he go? To a hotel? But where? Changbin leaned back against the cold glass wall of the bus stop and let out a sigh of frustration. He was a mess.

When he finally decided where he wanted to spend the night, his phone started ringing again, but it was not Hyunjin. Changbin's body reacted on its own, craving to hear the familiar voice.

"Changbin? Where are you?" Chan's panicked voice rang in his ear.

Changbin wanted to answer but his voice cracked and his eyes watered. He really needed a hug.

Chan sighed softly on the other side of the line before he spoke again.

"Binnie, could you tell me where you are? We're going to pick you up and take you home with us," he said and waited patiently for the younger to answer.

It took Changbin a minute before his voice started working again and when it did, he murmured the adress and added,

"But don't tell– him..."

"I promised Hyunjin to let him know once you pick up. I'm not going to tell him where you are though. Don't worry," Chan replied, "Wait for us, okay? We're on our way."

Changbin only hummed in response and stared blankly at the ended call notification on his phone screen before it disappeared and he saw countless unanswered calls and messages from Hyunjin.

Where are you?

Changbin?

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said. I didn't mean any of it. Please, answer the phone.

Changbin, please answer the phone. I'm worried.

Or text me back. Anything. Just let me know you are okay.

I'm really sorry. Let me fix this, please. I can't lose you again. We can't lose you.

Chan told me you picked up. He didn't want to tell me where you are but I figured they will take care of you.

Let's talk this over when you are ready. I will give you all the time and space you need, but please don't run away from me again. I've made many mistakes I'm ready to atone for. I need you. No-one else. You are my and Minseok's everything. We will be waiting for you.

Changbin's vision became blurry and the tears pooled in his eyes started falling down his red cheeks. His heart ached and longed to go back to his family, but he couldn't move. He had to be strong and endure it.

He loved Hyunjin, but he was scared. He had always been. Hyunjin deserved someone better. Changbin's insecurities were eating him alive. He loved him so much he would die if the younger ever told him he was tired of him. And so he ran. He had always been running away, Hyunjin was right.

He was the problem. He had been the problem all along.

Too deep in his jumble of thoughts, he didn't notice a car parking next to the bus stop and Chan and Seungmin came out of it. They rushed to him and embraced him.

"Binnie, oh my gosh..." Chan murmured hugging him tighter.

"Hyung," Seungmin called out with soft sternest to his voice to snap the boy out of his daze. Changbin lifted his tired red eyes and looked at the two.

"Chan hyung, Minnie..." he whispered.

"Hi, baby," Chan smiled softly and pushed his fringe back and out of his eyes. "We're here."

"Come, hyung," Seungmin wrapped his arm around his waist and helped him stand up. "We're going home."

Changbin wiped the tears away and nodded. As long as he had his friends with him he was going to be fine.

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Hi! 🤍

Thank you for your patience. I know it takes me ages to update this one. Sorry.

Love you! 🦋