Let you go | changjin

2. Memories

"Why did I have to dream about that of all of the things?" sitting up, Changbin muttered under his breath, still half asleep.

How long has it been? Two, three years?

Spacing out while looking at busy Seoul streets outside the window, he recalled the bitter-sweet past.

After their parting as lovers, Hyunjin and he had met a few times due to their mutual friends but as soon as the younger ones graduated, they all stopped hanging out together. Even after that, the universe had its ways to make them run into each other once or twice but Changbin turned out to be good at running away from his fate as he hadn't seen the younger since then.

Stepping outside the bedroom the two shared so many memories in for the last time, he had sworn to push the feelings for his beloved one away but instead of getting entirely rid of the love for the younger, Changbin made a place in his heart for a small garden where all of their happy days spent in each other's embrace and blue nights stained with tears lived cherished by him.

On some nights, he yearned for the brunette's warmth; his sweet kisses, gentle touches, and comforting hugs but nothing helped him chase the freezing cold away. Time couldn't have been reversed and Changbin knew that he had done what was the best for them both.

"Have you heard the news yet? Hyunjin got married." one of his closest friends, Seungmin informed with a hint of hesitance and sorrow to his voice.

Changbin blinked a few times dumbfoundedly.

"O-oh, that's Uhm, that's great." trying to form a logical sentence, he stuttered forcing a small smile onto his lips.

"I'm sorry, hyung." Seungmin's hand found its way to the older's shoulder as he patted it in a comforting manner, his voice filled with empathy.

'It's okay. I'm happy for him.' was something he wanted to say but got stuck in his throat.

I wonder if he has a child. Maybe kids even. I remember his mother constantly mentioning having grandchildren.

Changbin's facial expression subconsciously morphed into a sour smile as he recalled Mrs. Hwang and her not so friendly attitude towards him. He used to despise her but with time he started to understand her point of view. Everything she had ever said or done was for Hyunjin's sake; she wanted the best for her son, just like Changbin did.

He shook his head wiping off tears that had welled up in his eyes and got up to do something more productive than crying over the past.

Saturdays meant no work for the boy but he still had to do the house chores especially after overlooking it for the past week due to a busy schedule. He spent almost five days in the studio working overtime to finish a mini album for a group under a company he worked for. Changbin's job was mainly writing lyrics but sometimes he helped in arrangement and production.

Although pictured as a not stable and prestigious enough job, he loved his work. In his early high school days, Changbin was a part of a hip hop group and even a member of a poetry club for a short period of time.

Hyunjin loved music too. Too bad his parents insisted on him taking after their company rather than supporting him in his dreams.

He sighed at the memory of his ex-boyfriend's passion for dancing and his parents' disapproval.

Maybe they were right. After all, a CEO is fancier and more stable - a perfect job to provide for a family.

Still occupied with thoughts orbiting around the younger, he unconsciously let out another sigh scanning the contents of his fridge. Finding it lack a few essential products Changbin decided to go grocery shopping.

Normally, he would just put it off and focus on other chores but he decided that fresh air would help him clear up his mind.

Some minutes later, Changbin was ready and went out. 

As soon as he stepped out in the street, pleasant sunshine engulfed him in a warm hug, a light breeze caressed his raven locks. Winter finally bid its goodbye and Spring blessed trees with cherry blossoms.

Changbin felt serenity in the green scenery of the concrete city. Bright colors of the sky with white puffs floating around unhurriedly reflected on the glass surface of skyscrapers' windows adding vividness to the modern architecture.

Changbin entered the grocery store smiling at the music choice; soft tunes of a song he had worked on filled the aisles.

"Mister! Mister!" a sudden booming voice startled Changbin.

Searching for the source of the voice, he flinched when a child clung onto his hoodie sleeve tugging on it as if to gain his attention.

"Mister! Have you seen my daddy?" the toddler asked with hope flickering in his chocolate orbs.

"Hm?" still shocked he muttered. "Oh, have you lost your daddy?" crouching down, Changbin spoke softly, wanting to help the boy.

The child nodded his head.

"What does your dad look like?" he tried to gain any piece of information that would help him find the father.

"My daddy is tall and handsome!" the toddler beamed proudly cracking an eye-reaching smile.

That smile...

"Okay, how about you tell me where did you last see him and we search for him together?" he returned the smile while offering his hand to the boy.

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