sweet tea. -tkam

recovery.

-third pov-

     Little by little, Daisy picked up the shards of her life, alone. She tried desperately to piece herself back together, and mend her broken being, but she did it with no help. though the shards of her soul cut her hands, she prevailed. 

      she would be weak, she knew, but it didn't stop her. After tireless work, she knew she would be weak, unable to withstand the malice of a single person, but she went on. 

        The road to recovery was bleak, and people watched her stumble. people heard her cries and felt her pain, yet paid her no mind. too absorbed in their own lives, they passed helping her on to someone else, someone else who never seemed to show. she had wanted so little in her life, she just wanted to be loved. 

     She wanted to be okay, to be worthy. but all she got was icy neglect from the word, damned to be the one to save herself from a spiral of despair. she often pondered suicide, and many times she turned against herself. Yet still, she continued on her weary road to a daisy she might love. At first, she seemed to make all these efforts in vain, and nothing seemed to "fix" her. but as time passed, and she went on, things began to change.

-daisys pov-

    time passed faster now, no longer dragging on painfully like they used to. The warm sunlight hugged me as I left the hotel for a walk, I couldn't help but smile. The soft clover grass on my feet, the breeze in my hair and dress, the sun on my skin, I felt so Alive, so real. Beaming, I walked.

     It was impossible to deny the improvement I had made. I no longer was so brittle and fragile, so thin and sick. My skin was tanned like it has been, my freckled cheeks sun-kissed. My hair was bouncy and had its shine, my skin was no longer tired and dull. When I spun I could catch a whiff of how I smelt, my perfume carrying in the air.

Like sweet, wild daisies. My skin had its shine back, as well as its plush softness. I felt healthy again, I could breathe at last. God I loved everything about the outside. The way the clouds drifted in the sky, so fluffy and unique. The birds, the swaying trees and fluttering bugs.

     Oh, it was lovely. I had found so much out about myself, rediscovering things I had been forced to forget. Like my overwhelming love to socialize, and my optimistic, bubbly personality. My adoration of caring for people, and making them happy.

      But I was getting bored of the hotel, and quite frankly, of the town. It wasn't anything about it in particular, I just felt as if I couldn't truly flourish there, where I had been hurt so much before. I sat underneath a magnolia tree, watching some of the old petals fall, playing with a flower.

     The leaves were creamy white, so pure and so elegant. I wished I could wash away all I had seen, all the hell I had gone through, but I knew that was simply impossible. feeling the velvety petals in my hand I thought, was I really happy now? I doubted. I felt happy in some ways, I was happier than I had ever been, but I just didn't see true happiness in my future. I would never be as pure as magnolias, and nothing in my life would be either. 

       I felt as if my lacking spilled over into all aspects of my life. my not being good enough made everything subpar. I lay on the plush moss grass and sighed, looking at bees bumbling around wildflowers. Was it just to accept that my life would never be...that good? It was a beautiful scene, but just like everything in my life, it was tainted, shadowed with darkness. there had to be more to life than just...accepting that this will suffice. 

        there has to be something better out there, for even me. Maybe there wasn't anything for me Afterall, but then again, I can hardly say I've checked. But what could I possibly deserve? I was tired of this life, this trauma-ridden town. I wanted more, I wanted to explore beyond my hometown, I wanted to make a life of my very own, a life not confined to the one I had before in this old town. I may never be happy, I thought, but god dammit i'll try to be.