sweet tea. -tkam

reflection.

-daisy's pov-

      The days were unbearably bittersweet now, I was so close yet so far. I could almost imagine it, my life, my happy ending, but I couldn't get there. I had repaired myself as best I could, but through the years I lost some pieces. 

      I put myself back together, so...why wasn't it enough? Why wasn't I all better? Where was my fairytale ending, my happily ever after. I had done everything, I had mended myself all I could, but I still fell short. I could only suppose that this was all I could do, this was where my self-healing ended. But...I had nobody to fall back on, nobody to get me to that happy ending I so desperately wanted. I was still alone. 

      I sat outside under the large magnolia, drawing my knees to my chest. I could see my reflection in the pond near me, I sighed.

"Oh daisy...what did we do?"

I stared at my wavering reflection in the pond.

"Other people do it, other people make it fine and happy on their own...why can't we?"

"Because we're a failure, that's why." I muttered.

I caught a glimpse of sadness in my reflection eyes, and for a moment, in the water I saw a younger me. A small child looked back at me, wondering why I had called us a failure.

I looked away, feeling tears fill my eyes.

"I'm..sorry..." I held my legs closer to me.

She didn't deserve this, maybe I did, but she...she never did.

"I'm sorry we turned out this way...you deserved better..."

I could feel myself getting choked up.

"You would have been so much better than this, you never...ever...deserved to go through that, you never deserved to become me..."

"I wish I could have been better for you, I wish...I wish our life had been better...I wish mama was still alive..."

I felt stupid talking to my past self.

"Little Daisy had dreams...she...she hoped with her innocent heart to be something one day, she knew in her pure soul that she would become something great...and I've failed her."

"I'm sorry I wasn't everything you had hoped for.." I said, swishing away my reflection in the water.

     I laid my head in my arms, defeated, and cried. I didn't know what else to do, I had reached a plateau, and I couldn't go any further on my own. When I looked at myself with my younger self in mind I was ashamed, I just wish I could have given her everything she ever wanted, but I can barely give myself any joy.

       As I cried, the ground rumbled slightly, and a train moved steadily across the tracks. I lifted my head, looking at the train with bleared vision. The train. Could that be my ticket to a new life, to my happy ending? God I had nothing to lose and no reason to stay. I couldn't waste much time on deciding, the train had pulled into the station, and if I wanted to leave town soon, I knew I had to hurry. 

       I frantically ran back to the hotel in a panic, tears still running down my cheeks. My day had went from a slow, mopy day to a hectic race to the station. I had no idea where I might go, or what I might do, but I had the urge to leave town as soon as I could.