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"I can't believe you've been alive for the release of every Star Wars movie and you haven't seen any of them." Jacob shakes his head disbelievingly as he presses play on The Phantom Menace, prepared to make Phoebe sit through all six of the previous films before he lets her watch the newest release.
"I slept with Harrison Ford while they were filming one of them," she responds with a shrug of her shoulders. "Isn't that close enough?"
"You pulled Harrison Ford?" Emmett rolls into the den in his heelys, holding two wine glasses filled with bear blood - after the many disasters that occurred whilst Bella was a human, Carlisle got the idea to start keeping a supply of animal blood within the house, so they did not have to worry about hunting quite as often, especially when extreme circumstances arise as they so often did with her. Whilst it is kept in the same bags as human blood, Emmett refuses to drink out of them 'like some common whore' and instead insists on using fancy glasses. "No offense, but why the hell have you settled for Jazzykins?"
"Offense taken!" Jasper shouts from upstairs.
Phoebe laughs, accepting the wine glass he offers her as he takes a seat on the opposite side of the couch before she answers. "Because as good looking as Harry was, he was not the love of my life. Jasper is."
"That's cute. Now give us the real answer," Jacob jokes. "Jasper probably isn't listening any more."
"Yes he is!" Edward snitches from a different part of the house.
"Mind your business, Edison!" Jasper shouts back.
"He wasn't that good in bed," Phoebe admits as the sounds of the boys beginning to fight ensues. "So when he asked about being a vampire, I lied and said the Volturi would be pissed if I changed someone famous."
"Isn't that true though?" Jacob asks, genuinely curious. "They were little bitches over Bella and Renesmee, and literally no one knows who they are, so it makes sense they would throw a fit over a celebrity."
"They only cared about us because Aro misses Carlisle," Emmett explains. "They actually don't give any fucks about celebrities. Just look at how many centuries they've let Anna Hathaway be around."
"WHAT?" Jacob shrieks, his eyes growing comically large as his brain struggles to process the information. "She's a- how- since when-"
Hey, Uncle Jake? Uncle Emmett?" Renesmee asks, tentatively poking her head into the den as Jacob continues to sputter out incoherent sentences.
