Healing Hearts (Gus x Matt)

~chapter 37~

⚠️TW⚠️ Slight mention of suicidal thoughts later in the chapter

Matt's pov:

Matt wakes up that morning with a heavy feeling on his shoulders.

Today is the one-year mark of the 'Day of Unity'.

He sits up in his bed, looks around, and put his hands over his face.

"Gah, why do I even still care... nothings going to change..." he mumbles to himself.

He takes a deep breath and gets out of bed, pushing the tiny voice in his head to the side.

He gets dressed and makes himself breakfast in silence. What even is there to say anyway? Especially if you've been alone for a year only ever talking to someone else once or twice the whole time.

He eats his food and puts the plate in the strainer after washing it. He heads upstairs and grabs his bag of books. He ties his shoes and heads off to the library.

Recently, he's been avoiding the forest path, it brings back too many bad memories. But every once in a while he goes there, when he can't calm down, when he needs some peace, or if he needs a good cry.

He replaces a few of his books at the library and starts to walk home.

Today, however, is one of the days where he does end up walking the forest path.

He walks along the side of the sidewalk, clutching the strap of his bag with both of his hands. He looks around, the leaves are starting to turn colors, just like last year.

Suddenly, he reaches the start of the path. The gap in the trees looks like it could close at any moment, erasing everything inside the forest from the outside world.

He stands and stares at the trees, swaying in the wind, their branches and leaves inviting him inside with manipulative faces.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

He steps forward, into the trail. A few leaves crunch under his foot, very few had actually fallen, yet with every step there was a deafening crunch and a silence that followed.

He takes slow, cautious steps. With every gust of wind, every rustling leaf, he becomes more and more alert. So does the voice in the back of his mind.

He walks faster and pushes the voice off to the side again, just hoping to get some reading done.

He reaches the clearing and comes to a stop.

The voice in his head had went completely silent.

Everything went silent.

All he is able to hear is the rippling lake, the rustling leaves on the tree branches, the random noises of the animals in the forest surrounding him, and his own heartbeat.

He shakes his head, bringing himself back to reality.

He walks over to a spot in the clearing, right infront of the lake. He sits down and pulls out the first book.

He reads intently, occasionally casting a spell from the book every now and then.

He reads book after book. Preforms spell after spell. And eventually, its almost lunch. He puts his book back into his bag and sits there some more.

The voice inside his head was becoming too loud now, so he's deciding to just let it talk. He can't drown it out, so why fight it?

You know he's never coming back right? You know nothing will ever change.

"Stop... things have to change"

You're just a walking failure, stop trying to be anything else.