25 - ❝this ain't who i wanna be❞

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"You think it's a trap?" Carl whispered to Elle, trusting her judgment.

His question came from the cartons and bottles of water in the middle of the road, paired with a note that read, 'from a friend.'

"I'd like to believe it's not," Elle whispered back. "But given reality and our history with people, it's most likely a trap."

Carl narrowed his eyes at the water and continued to ask Elle questions, "Who would-"

"He would."

He stared at her but her eyes were set on the water. Still, he could see the anger and fear flashing back and forth in her glare. He knew who she meant. He remembered as well as she did.

"But why?" Carl pressed on. "And how would he have all this water?"

A quick spin of Elle's head to face Carl made her glasses fly off her face. Neither made any move to grab them, both staring at each other. Carl's gaze was one of worry while Elle's was one of vengeance.

"I'm coming back for you, little girl. Those were the words he told me," Elle told Carl, her fists clenching and unclenching repeatedly. "So I don't know how. And I barely know why. But I do know that I'm fucking terrified!"

Those words brought everyone's eyes to Elle. She had almost forgotten they were all there and she was sure they all knew what she had been talking about. Her voice had gained volume with each word and by the end, she had been screaming.

Elle didn't want to look at all of their pitiful looks, so she threw her hat in a spat of anger and moved into the forest where she knew Daryl was.

She was trying so hard. So hard. But over and over again she got pulled back into the never-ending loop of pain, doubt, and anger. She wanted to be happy. But as long as they were living on the road she knew it would be impossible.

What she needed was a place to live where she wouldn't have to look over her shoulder at every sound and make sure she constantly had eyes on everyone. She needed security, and right now no one could give that to her.

The rest of the group couldn't blame her when she fell into her hole, not when she was putting so much effort into staying out of it. Instead, they all worked to pull her back up each and every time. This time was harder because she was trying to get herself out alone. That was why she could never stay out of her hole, she wouldn't let anyone help her. The most she had excepted were Maggie's few words and Carl's comforting touches, but those were not enough to keep her steady.

"What're ya doing out here?"

Elle barely flinched at Daryl's voice, merely raising her head so that she could look at him.

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