city of stars | minsung

003 | three

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city of stars
there's so much that i can't see

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The first day of college went even worse than Jisung had imagined.

First, he had tripped over his shoelaces, which were opened for some reason, then he was late to his first period. He had been way too nervous to properly introduce himself, causing him to stutter embarrassingly.

»I hope you don't stutter like that when you're somebody's lawyer, young man«, his professor had laughed, probably thinking he was funny.

Jisung was still salty about it.

Now he was plumbed up on his mattress with his eyes closed, a pounding headache plaguing him. 

He looked around, trying to spot his phone, and lazily got up to take it when he found it.

His parents hadn't called, didn't even send a message. He sighed, turning off the device and putting it down next to him.

He stared at the ceiling.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Jisung recalled everything that happened ever since he had told his parents about wanting to become a songwriter. From then to now, years later.

For the first time, he thought about it. For the first time he realized how unhappy he really was.

It was weird. Like a wave the realization crashed down on him: He could never, never, get what he wants most. Never could he achieve his dream. And there was nothing he could do about it.

It was not his fault that he walked on a path that led far away from his dream, it was his parents'. He had no power over it. 

He might've been an adult now, but the fear of disappointing his parents stopped him from acting like one, from finally being independent. 

He could feel a hot tear run down his cold cheek, and soon after, he started sobbing. 

He wouldn't be happy. Never. He would forever be stuck within a life he didn't like, with a job he didn't enjoy, and with no one by his side that would ease his sorrow. 

All because he was too afraid of his parents' opinion? He felt stupid. Utterly stupid, pathetic. 

Why could everyone but he?

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364 words

i could not hold myself back, so have the next three chapters lmao.

anyways i just know i'll never write something like this again, the length of these chapters make me so unhappy with them istg