Over The Bridge

🧷 XIII

He just couldn't do it anymore.

He grabbed his notebook and wrote a 3 page note to his mom, apologizing and explaining everything, and ultimately at the end of it, it said "I'm so sorry for making you go through this pain again. I love you so much".

He wrote an equally as long one to all of his friends, but on his mom's it said to give those to his friends. He felt so bad for just leaving so suddenly. All of the notes were written so neatly too, he took time for each note, and he made sure he was careful with his wording. He also left his phone, laptop, and any other electronic he had to Beomgyu, with the passwords. He said Taehyun could have some of his clothes if he wanted them.

He really couldn't do it anymore. He made sure he had nothing valuable on him, he laid the notes out on the island in the kitchen, neatly in a stack. First his mom's, then Beomgyu's, then Taehyun's then Soobin's, and then Kai's. Then he left, knowing his mom would be back soon, maybe in 45 minutes.

He walked all the way to the bridge over the Han River. He went near the same exact stop Arin was in and he looked over the edge. The memories flooding back to him. Shame from nights before. Hatred for himself. Emptiness. Pain. Guilt. Anger. It had all hit him like a bus.

Overwhelmed with emotion he still had this one clear thought, "I won't be lonely anymore, I'll have Arin." Then he climbed over the railing, looked down at the river below, and couldn't help but feel a small sense of relief, knowing it would all be over within a matter of minutes, maybe even seconds. He wouldn't have to wake up and suffer anymore. He would be free from this hell.

Then he fell of the edge. A quick feeling of regret as he fell, and then relief as he fell. It was over. No more suffering. He could finally be happy after all these years of pain and suffering.

He was so glad it was all over...

Yeonjun's mom came into the house, she spent the day going from job interview to job interview. She called for Yeonjun, announcing she was home. Whenever she would leave during the day, Yeonjun had no shame in hugging her when she came back. When she got no reply from Yeonjun, it was a bit odd, but she stepped in the kitchen since she spotted paper sitting on the island. Her heart sunk as she realized what it was.

Tears welled in her eyes as she read what Yeonjun had wrote for her. She refused to believe it. She refused to believe Yeonjun would actually kill himself too. Yeonjun left no details of how he was doing it in the note and she immediately turned on the TV to the news as she panickly called Beomgyu's mom, Taehyun's mom, Kai's mom, and Soobin's mom, telling them what she had just read.

When Beomgyu got the news, he ran, and he fucking ran to Yeonjun's house. The others had the same idea. They had all met Yeonjun's mom at the house and found their letters. Beomgyu was the first one to get there and he shakingly read it. He was fucking serious. No details of where and how either. Then Taehyun got there, he was already in tears and when he managed to read his, he cried harder, and onto Beomgyu's shoulder. The others had similar reactions. They all couldn't believe it and they heard on the news about Yeonjun's suicide. A car had caught it on dashcam, since there just happened to be a traffic jam right there. The footage was on the news.

They all refused to believe it. He really was gone. They all hoped this was one of their seemingly visions and they would snap out of a trance to realize it wasn't real. That never happened no matter how much they hoped it would...

They still couldn't believe it was actually real. He was gone. He was. It already hurt enough when Arin left them, but now with Yeonjun gone, in the same way, it hurt even more.

Yeonjun had something specific for each of them written in his notes. It pained each one of them to even receive the note, but what was written in them hurt even more.