ℙ𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕩 ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕡𝕝𝕖 [𝓪 𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓼𝓾𝓻𝓲 𝓯𝓪𝓷𝓯𝓲𝓬]

Questioning

Yuri POV

I made it home just as it started to rain. As the raindrops slid down my windows, I checked my phone to see Natsuki had joined the club group chat. This was hardly a surprise, after all the was an official member now.

I hate Natsuki

Natsuki is... ok?

I like Natsuki?

I hadn't liked or even loved anyone before. I had looked on the internet of course, but there were so many terms and spectrums that I got confused. I didn't feel like any of them. I had thought for ages that I was something called aromantic, but if I liked Natsuki romantically, then surely I wasnt. So what was I? I wasn't even sure if I did like Natsuki like that. Hadn't I made up my mind half an hour ago that I hated her, and now I was thinking about liking her??

My phone pinged, breaking my train of thought. I checked it and immediately regretted doing so.

It was a selfie of Natsuki of course. It was quite a shaky picture, but she was winking and sticking her tounge out. She had smudges of flour on her face, and in the background I could vaugely see some chocolate cupcakes in an oven. 

She looked... adorable.

Stop it. Stop it stop it stop it.

I didn't actually like Natsuki... did I? She was so annoying and childish. I couldn't be with someone like that?!

"Your poem was... good"

So what? That had been basic kindness. Sayori and Monika told me that they liked my poems, but I barely overthought that. How had Natsuki made me feel this way when I had just met her???

Yuri: Looking forward to eating them tomorrow!

I sent it before I could change my mind. I needed to take my mind away from Natsuki, so I headed downstairs to my kitchen. I would eat dinner while doing my homework, and then write my poem. 

Yuri: Wait, what's the theme for tomorrow?

Monika: My bad😅

Monika: Ok the theme is 'hunger'

Monika: Its quite fitting haha

Yuri: So it is, haha

Hunger, huh? I could do a poem on that. I heated up some chicken soup on the stove and set about completing my homework. It didn't take very long, I don't want to seem like I'm bragging but I am quite smart. I poured the soup into a bowl and got out some paper. I tapped my pen to my chin in thought. If you were in love, you were 'hungry' weren't you? No, I couldn't write about love! What if the others found out, and bullied me for it?! What if Natsuki hated me?! She probably already did. 

I breathed in and out to steady myself. Just put your pen to the paper Yuri I thought.

Candyfloss by Yuri

The candyfloss stains by teeth sickly strawberry

But I hardly notice, the sweet tatse overpowers me

It  binds my mind with sugary fibres

I tear at another piece and feel peace

I need more canyfloss, I need the sugar to stain me

I feel the need to vomit, but I keep going

What is this feeling? 

It's awful but it feels so good

Guilty sugars fuel me.

It certainly wasn't my best, but it wasn't my worse either. It would have to do however, I was growing tired. I finished the last of my soup and got up. I washed it up, then sloped off to bed, barely aware of what I was doing. I must have got into my pyjamas, because when I woke up I was wearing them.

Time to see Natsuki again.