Tw:Brief mention of death
After a long day of work Ateez were back at dorm. Some resting some showering. After dinner they parted ways. Jongho went to bed after dinner. Ready to sleep. Sleep came fast.
Jongho pov
I was at the company. Sitting on the couch in the practice room. I saw the manager come in. He walked to me. He was frowning and it worried me.
"Jongho, can you come out for a minute" he said. I followed him to the hall. He stopped and turned to me. He was silent for a minute. Making me nervous. He sighed.
"I know this is not the best way to say but your mother got into a car accident" he paused. "Unfortunately she didn't make it. I'm sorry" he said sadly. I blinked a few times and repeated what he said. So my mom passed away. She is no longer with me. Manager nim suddenly hugged me. I just stand there, frozen. I didn't notice my hands shaking until he took them to his own and rubbed the back of it.
~
I was at the dorm. Sitting with my hyungs.
"So what do you wanna do?" Asked San.
"Can we play game?" I asked.
"Ofcourse" he said. A sad smile on his face.
~
I was at bed. I turned to the nightstand and took my phone. Thinking what day it is. Maybe it was all a dream.
"It's the same day" Yeosang Hyung said. I looked at him. How did he know what i was thinking. Wait. So it's real, i lost my mom. The thought of not seeing or hugging her made me so sad.
°
I woke up with a gasp. My heart was beating fast. I quickly sat on the bed.
"Wait. Wait a minute. This is my bed. I'm at the dorm. So it was all a dream, that my moms still alive" i thought. Relief washed over me and i couldn't stop the tears. I cried silently for a few minutes, reassuring myself that this is real life and nothing happened. But i felt the need to check. I looked at the time. 3:50 AM. I continued to cry for a bit. Getting up and opening the door quietly, i went to the bathroom and blew my nose. My legs were aching for no reason. I then noticed that my hands were shaking. I left the bathroom and went back to bed. I have to call home in the morning. With that thought i fell asleep.
The next time i woke up it was 7 Am. I got up and go to the kitchen to get water. Since most of us are probably awake. There Seonghwa was cooking eggs and bacon with a piece of toast.
"Goodmorning" he said with a smile.
"Goodmorning" i said back. But i didn't expected my voice to sound sick. Probably from the night. Seonghwa frowned and came near.
"You ok?" He asked. I cleared my throat.
"I'm ok" i said.
"You're not sick right? You sound different" he said worridly. Checking for a temperature.
"No, i feel good" i said. He stepped back and continued cooking. I sat down and waited for other to come. Soon everyone was sitting at the table and we started eating. My hands were still shaking a little so did my best to go unnoticed. When i was taking a piece of bacon the fork slipped from my hand. I quickly slid back and took it back.
I tried to stop from shaking. Gripping the fork.
They didn't say anything. We continued and then got ready for the day. Going to the company out scedule was same but i had vocal lesson in the end. It was ok at practice and now time for vocal. I entered the studio. Greeting. Then got in the booth and starting. It was fine but i made a mistake in the end repeatadly so i got scolded a little. Saying sorry and going out with my bag. I quickly go to the toilet as my hands started to shake again. I got in a stall. Taking deep breaths in and out. A tear slipped and i wiped it. Still taking deep breaths. My whole body was shaking and i felt like crying my eyes out but soon calmed down. The other should be ready to go by now so i checked for any redness. My face looked normal. I saw them exiting the practice room. My heart was beating fast for no reason and i did everything to stay still.
"Let's go" Hongjoong said when he saw me. We got out and in the Van. I rested my head on the the window. My hand was clasped to stop the shaking. I jumped a little when i felt a hand on mine. I turned to look at Seonghwa who was holding my hand. I quickly held his hand tightly and rested my head on his shoulder. The rest of the ride contained others talking and singing quietly. At the dorm i quickly went to my shared room and got my phone. Dialing moms phone, it took two rings for her to open.
"Hello" she said. I smiled at her voice, feeling happy that she is safe.
"Hello, how are you?" I asked. She laughed.
"I'm good. Happy to hear my sons voice. How are you?" She said.
"I'm good. Busy with work and all" i said with a chuckle. She chuckled in return.
"That's good. Don't work too hard tho. I don't want you getting sick or tired that much" she said. I hummed. After a little talk she said she needed to hang up to sleep.
"Goodnight" i said.
"Goodnight son" she said lovingly. She hang up. I put the phone down and sighed. That's good. She is safe and happy. I smiled to myself. Getting up and joining others in the living room. I sat down between Hongjoong and Yunho. Mingi and Wooyoung were playing games.
"I WIN!" Wooyoung shouted. Mingi slumped and gave the controller to San. The game continued. I was enjoying watching them have fun. Then there was a tap on my shoulder. I looked up to see Seonghwa pointing at kitchen. I followed him to the kitchen. We sat down.
"How are you?" He asked.
"I'm good" i said in a confused tone.
"Just today seemed jittery. Everythings ok right? If not you can talk to me or others" he said with a small smile. I love how caring he is.
"Yeah I'm ok" i said. Thinking of whether i should tell the dream or not.
"I just saw a bad dream" i said. "Can i tell?" I asked looking at him.
"Yes, yes you can" he said quickly. Just the thought of it makes me sad but it won’t hurt to tell someone.
"Well, in my dream, manager nim said that my mom got in a accident and that she didn't make it" i stopped for a second. Seonghwa rubbed my hand. "I don't know how but i woke up in the dream again and nothing changed so when i really woke up i was relieved it was just a dream. I called mom like 10 minutes ago. So everythings fine now" i said. Seonghwa cooed and hugged me. I hugged back. Resting my head on his chest.
"That's good. That she is safe" he said softly. I nodded. We parted and i smiled at him.
"Wanna go back?" He asked. I nodded. We sat back down at the couch. Seonghwa hugging me and the eight of us enjoying our time.
I hope you like it.
This is based on my dream this morning.
Have a great day and stay safe. Be happy🌌
