Red Vs Blue: Agent New Jersey: The Blood Gulch Chronicles

S3E19: The Storm

Fade into the fan in front of the base, which the Robot Army (eventually) walks past

Robot Army: "Charge."

O'Malley: "Hu hu hoh, for God's sake. Will you hurry up! Lopez, I'm disappointed in your work. These minions are much too slow."

Lopez: "Yo creo que se están moviendo muy bien. [I think they are moving along nicely.]"

O'Malley: "You fool! You don't even have legs, and you still got up here faster than them!"

Lopez: "Tú eres el cerebro en esta operación. Yo no más soy el musculo. [Hey, you're the brains in this operation. I'm just the brawn.]"

Doc: "They may be slow, but their posture is excellent!"

O'Malley: "Huhhg..."

Doc: "A for effort, Lopez!"

Cut to Sarge

Sarge: "I think they're distracted. Let's use this chance to slip away."

Simmons: "Great idea, sir. I have a lock on the distress signal. We can head right for it."

Sarge: "Good thinking, Simmons. Everybody in the jeep."

Simmons: "Shotgun!"

Grif: "Shotgun! Fuck."

Donut: "Shotgun's lap!"

Simmons: "Fuck!"

Sarge: "There's just no room for four people. Someone will have to jog alongside. Grif?"

Grif: "Jog? What's that?"

Simmons: "It's like running slowly. Dear God, you don't know what jogging means?"

Grif: "Yeah, you lost me at running. Sorry, it's not in my contract."

Donut: "Oh, don't worry, I'll do it. Just give me one second while I put my jogging shorts on."

Grif: "Wait. I wanna reconsider."

Donut: "Who wants to hold my ankles while I stretch out my hammies?"

Sarge: "No one's fallin' for that twice, Donut."

Cut to Tex peering out a window at the Robot Army

Tex: "Alright, I think I can take 'em. I just need a better weapon."

Tucker: "Want me to help you find one?"

Tex: "Mm, why don't you just give me your sword?"

Tucker: "No way, I can see right through your little ploy. You just want me to give you the sword."

Carmine: "That's what she literally just said, dumbass."

Tucker: "Yeah, but it's the way she said it."

Tex: "You know, it's a good thing that that sword doesn't run on brainpower. Oh my God, Tucker, look! Hot chicks."

Tucker: "Nice try, you just want me to turn around so you can knock me out and take the sword."

Tex: "Now the hot girls are makin' out."

Tucker: "Okay, that's worth the risk." (turns around) "Eauhw, crap."

Tex hits Tucker from behind and knocks him out, just like she planned

Carmine: "Wow. Y'know, sometimes it surprises me how dumb he is."