Red Vs Blue: Agent New Jersey: The Blood Gulch Chronicles

S4E2: Hunting Time

Fade into Grif still yelling like a walrus.

Grif: "Nooooooooooo- Whoa!"

He starts running back and forth to avoid sniper shots.

Grif: "No! No no no!!"

Sarge: "That was close!"

Simmons: "Thank you, sir!"

Grif: "Nooo!"

Sarge: "Donut, you're going outta turn."

Donut: "I thought I went after Simmons."

Sarge: "No, we go in line. It goes you then me, then Simmons, then back down to me then you, then me then me, then Simmons then me then me then Simmons, me, me Simmons you Simmons me me me Simmons you. Me. Then me again. It makes perfect sense!"

Simmons: "But doesn't that mean you go twice as much? Or, ten times as much?"

Sarge fires.

Grif: "Ow!"

Sarge: "This is the best game since Grifball!

Grif: "I'm not comin' down!"

Sarge: "Hey Grif! Move back and forth like one of those ducks at the carnival!"

Sarge fires again, but misses as Grif ducks.

Sarge: "No, don't duck, that makes you harder to hit. Act like a duck!"

Simmons: "Wait a minute, that was my turn!"

Sarge: "This is the Lightning Round."

Simmons: "Who's in the Lightning Round--"

Sarge: "Me."

Grif: "Alright, fuck this, I'm comin' down!"

Sarge fires again

Grif: "OW! I said I'm comin' down!"

Sarge: "Hyaha, buzzer beater! Take that you stupid duck."

Cut to Caboose, Tucker, Carmine, Tex, and Ghost-Church standing outside the complex

Tucker: "We haven't seen that alien thing come out, so he's probably still hiding in there."

Caboose: "Or, eating Church!"

Tex: "Alright then. Let's roll."

Church: "Okay... Here we go..."

Brief silence.

Tucker: "...Uh, we're not moving."

Church: "Yeah, yeah, okay." (clears throat) "Here we go."

Tucker: "...We're still not moving."

Caboose: "Does talking count as moving?"

Carmine: "Jesus Christ, you guys. All right, Tex, take point."

Tex: "Woah, why am I in front?"

Carmine: "Because I said so."

Tex: (stepping forward) "All right, fine. You guys get behind me, and stay tight."

Tucker: "Bow chicka bow wow."

Carmine: "Y'know what, I changed my mind. Tucker, take point."

Tucker: "Eh, it was worth it."

Cut back to Blood Gulch, outside the Red Base.

Sarge: "All right, men. Stay out of sight. We have to be prepared for anything."