It's been a couple of days since Layne left Boston. And damn, I freaking miss him. It's normal to be obsessed with your boyfriend, right?
And I have been in Boston for almost a week now, my mother and I still haven't talked about it. Which confuses the hell out of me because when I was in Seattle, it was all she was stressing to me about....pressuring me to talk to a therapist...worrying that I might do it again...crying to me about why I did it. And now it's like she doesn't want to talk...or doesn't know how.
Noticing my mother's bedroom door open, I stroll into her room and plop myself on her bed, sighing.
"I miss Layne," I whine honestly to her. She laughs, pulling the covers over me.
"Yeah, he's a little cutie," she says. "A man hasn't taken the trash out for me for I don't know how long...I miss it," she laughs. I smile, reminiscing how Layne offered to take the trash out a few times. And did. "You look happy...with him."
"I am." She nods at my response, thinking. "...what?"
"You know...you don't have to be in a relationship to be happy.."
"Is that what you think-"
"I'm just saying.."
"Trust me, I'm not like you," I say coldly, immediately regretting it.
"Excuse me?" she says in a stern voice.
"I'm sorry," I quickly apologize. "I didn't mean that...Layne and I are together because we want to be together," I say before she can cuss me out. "I didn't plan it," I softly laugh. I didn't plan him. My mother sighs, something tipping on her tongue. Still feeling bad for what I'd said, I cuddle next to her, resting my head on her chest. Mmmh.
"I'm not one of your little friends, remember." She proceeds to tell me.
"I know," I groan. Geez.
I feel my mother's gentle hand on my back as she rubs me back and forth. "And your friend," she then begins. "The one that tried...."
"What about her?"
"I hope she didn't give you any ideas."
Ah, here she goes.
"She didn't...." I whisper before looking up at her.
"Have you...since you'd been gone...have you..." She shuts herself up, struggling with words.
I shake my head no, lying. "I'm better now," I tell her. And is that a lie? I know I feel much better than I was months ago, but who knows what will happen tomorrow...in a week...a month from now. Depression doesn't ever leave. I mean, I don't think it will. "You and Shana were right...I just needed a change," I add, giving her hope.
She smiles genuinely, and I almost feel guilty that she believes me. Maybe I won't try again..."So, you miss home, huh?" she asks.
"I miss you. Basically, the reason I flew all the way here," I laugh weakly. "After finding Tanya...I keep thinking about how much I wanted you...how much I wanted my mommy." Plus, I felt so fucking guilty.
My mother turns and hugs my body tighter before smothering my neck with quick kisses, like how she used to do when I was younger.
"I miss you too," she then says. "It's so lonely here all by myself."
"You should of had more kids," I joke.
My mother shakes her head, a small smile playing on her lips."I was fine with just you."
Oooh.... Her words crush me...I'm sorry for trying to leave.
And then I remembered I left the Prince record I was going to gift her back in Seattle.
Oops.
~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
I stare down at Layne's arms; both of them are covered with red dots and purple bruises. I lightly graze my fingers upon them, a pang of intense guilt waiving over me. I stand before Layne, my first time seeing him in a week, and...baby.
I returned to Seattle yesterday night, having spent almost two weeks in Boston. And I couldn't wait to wake up this morning and run over to Layne's. He answered his door shirtless; his eyes widened when he saw me. And I'm not sure who he was expecting, but I knew it wasn't me.
No words have been spoken since I arrived at his place five minutes ago.
"Who were you expecting?" I finally ask him, my eyes lifting to meet his. Layne avoids my eyes and just swallows, not saying anything."Your dealer?" I add bitterly. He peeks down at me before quickly looking away. I raise my eyes to the remnants of pink hair dye, trying my best to push the anger bubbling up inside me. You knew he was still doing it; why are you so surprised? "You said you weren't going to–," I start to say, but he interrupts.
"I said I would try," he murmurs in a quiet tone.
"Layne..." I whisper his name softly, shaking my head. These marks don't belong here...not on him.
"You gonna threaten to not marry me again?" he questions, a desperate laugh in his voice.
I glare at him disapprovingly in response to his choice of words. I see the regret in his eyes as he steps closer and tries to wrap his arms around me. I move away, pushing my hand against his chest as I attempt to remove the frog ring from my finger.
"Please don't," Layne pleads in a low, aching tone.
My body stiffens as I struggle to slide the ring off. No matter how hard I twist and turn, it stays on me like glue. "I can't," I whimper before a groan.
Layne grips my hand as he shakes his head, "Please don't leave me."
Fear spreads in his eyes as sadness welts in mine. I trail my free hand over one of his arms, trying to chase away the pain and bruises. But it doesn't work. They stay.
YOU ARE READING
Frogs
Fanfiction"You're the only sober person in my life. It feels like you were made for me?" he says, though it came out as a question rather than a statement. I smile and look at him. Layne is already staring at me, searching for understanding. Not knowing how...
