"Welcome to being treated like shit for no reason."
In which a black woman falls in love with an asian man who takes discrimination on a stride.
Started: 8/05/2020
Ended: 1/01/2023
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"I shouldn't have told him my feelings. I shouldn't have been honest. I shouldn't have been vulnerable."
I flew too close to the sun and got burnt. What can I say? City girls down fifty points.
"Oh flower cmon," Samirah whispered moving to hug me so I could cry in her arms for the fiftieth time that day, "you did nothing wrong Nay. You were honest and vulnerable and you should be proud of that."
So why am I being punished? Quickly.
We haven't spoken... we haven't spoken in four weeks. He hasn't texted me... he hasn't called me. I haven't seen him.
I can't stop thinking about him.
I can't stop thinking about him but he just stopped... how could he just stop?
...How can he just stop?
Does he not, think about my smile the way I do his? What about the nights we stared into each other's eyes and laughed about nothing? And the talks... I told him everything... does he not remember how I cried into his arms as I told him I'm scared of people leaving... did he remember what he said back?
"H-He said he wou- would never hurt me Samirah and he told me he'd wipe my tears every time... he lied to me and I told him I hate liars... I- I told him I hate liars the most. "
How could he be this cold to me?
I just can't stop crying. It's everything I was scared about coming to life.
"Nayla maybe he just really needs time-"
"I hate him," I said in between sobs.
I hate him.
Someone, please call 991.
"You don't mean that lover," Samirah said softly, "I don't think you should throw away the whole experience... what you felt, what you learnt, you and him - that was real."
Real...real.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I said making a move to the toilet and locking it before Samirah could get inside.
