"Welcome to being treated like shit for no reason."
In which a black woman falls in love with an asian man who takes discrimination on a stride.
Started: 8/05/2020
Ended: 1/01/2023
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Everyone has a Fabiano in their life.
He is obnoxious and cannot keep a secret.
Usually a bum who is barely afloat.
But is there something endearing about the Fabianos of the world? Yes.
My Fabiano was the David Chapelle of college but way less funny and obviously less financially endowed. How he managed to follow Sam, Marcello and I through the years I will never know.
Probably because we don't want him to starve to death.
"IT WAS CRAZZZZZY," Fabiano cackled loudly.
Right now, I cannot conjure up any reason as to why Fabiano, Sam and Marcello are in my house. It is 12 o'clock and Sunday.
I don't want to hang with these bums.
"What about a pizza party right now?" Samirah suggested enjoying the way Fabiano dramatically told his story.
What about... you guys fuck off?
"Samirah," he started getting on his knees, "are you reading my mind?"
"Bitch, you're always hungry. Of course you'd be thinking about pizza."
Well said Marcello.
"It does not gotta be at my house tho guys."
And I got ignored. At my own house. Great.
"Yesterday, Marcello's homeboy got crrrrraaaaazy. Dude was a hoe - after that first drink, he had almost every chick in the club."
Colour me interested.
"Yo," Marcello started hurriedly, "what type of toppings we having?"
"Dude yesterday had all the toppings," he joked putting his legs on my glass table.
Damn, and that's on sauce.
"What was his name Fab?"
Marcello looked like all the colour drained from his face as he looked pointedly at Fabiano.
And Fabiano missed every single cue. It was like watching Jordan playing professional baseball for the first time.
Just missing by large margins.
"Something like Frappucino or Latee," he started laughing, "dude was like Asian and I was off the Henny and mixing."
No way.
"Somchai?"
"YeAH sis," that's it he said snapping his fingers, "dude is a thot. He's really cool and he managed to get a number for me but, a thot is a thot is a thot."
Interesting.
Samirah and Marcello just had their jaws touching the floor in a mixture of disbelief and annoyance towards him.
"Marcello," he said waving his hand in Marcello's face, "order the pepperoni with the extra toppings, what you doing looking stupid for free?"
...
"I heard you're a hoe."
"Happiness over everything? Always."
Smooth and he listens to Jhene Aiko.
The whole day I've been wondering about Somchai and what Fabiano said. So I made up some lame excuse to call him and try to get more information out of him. I just want to know more about him.
Like what is his type? We've never talked about it.
"You know that's not what I mean."
"So ask what you want to know."
He's doing that thing he does. When his voice just gets so soothing that I feel my bones melt. Like so sweet and calming.
"D-Do you get a lot of girls?"
I am a grown ass woman. So, what kind. of question is this?
"Sometimes," he answers, "it just depends on the mood."
"So am I one of the girls you get depending on mood?"
FuCK. fUCK. Fuck. fUck.
"You let me know every ten seconds that we're friends," he lightly laughed, "I am not trying to get you like that."
Ouch. That shit lowkey hurted.
Is there something wrong with me?
"Right?" I laughed nervously, "probably not even your type."
"You're doing that shit. You're putting yourself down again."
"But you're not trying to get me. Like there must be something wrong about me lowkey besides bad mood swigs and how much of a tyrant I can be."
Even this joke is depressing.
"Babe," he started you laughing, "you friendzoned me like a motherfucker."
Because I'm scared.
"You're right. Just forget I said anything - I sound crazy."
