THE SAME

A Christmas special

-Minju Kim-
What won't a mother do for her child?

You can tell that my Sommie threatened me to be here because, only force could make me attend this Christmas dinner.

Nayla and her peasant family and the Anurak and Kim families mingling.

God... we have fallen...

Kasem could not be happier laughing with Nayla's mother... my husband always did have an affinity for the lower class. Her peasant grandparents have blended with the Anurak and Kim grandparents.

"Mrs Kim, my mother and grandma made ressoeis, do you want to try one," Nayla asked with holding a sort of... fried dumpling?

Me and a common fried... snack? Is she trying to annoy me?

I can see what my son likes in this Nayla girl... she is a very pretty girl. She just has this blemish free complexion and beautiful rich skin tone, these chocolate dark almond shaped eyes and pouty full lips and a fuller face which adds to her innocent look...

My issue was never her looks.

She just is not on our level.

"Mrs Kim, are you going to take it? It's shrimp flavour."

"Thank you," I lied with a tight smile taking the dumpling from her. She looked like a broken-hearted puppy just from the thought of me refusing and from behind her, I could see my father glare slightly daring me to act unsightly.

"Mrs Kim," her grandma approached with a very pretty smile, "I hope you enjoy, it's my secret recipe."

Dammit! I have to eat it now, otherwise I look rude and I don't want dad thinking he has to have a chat with me again about etiquette.

So I bit the thing and... it was delicious... special recipe she said? I need this in my possession. I know a billion dollar recipe when I taste one and this... tastes like money.

"This is delicious Mrs..?"

"Mrs Da Costa. But you can call me Eliza."

"Well, Mrs Da Costa this was delicious, you should be selling these."

"Thank you petal," she laughed crinkling her eyes, "but this is just for family. I'll make you as many as you want."

"Grandma do you need water? Are you okay?"

"Sommie... child, who are you speaking to?"

"Oh, I guess you didn't know mom," Sommie said with a fond smile towards Nayla's grandmother, "Nayla's grandparents asked me to call them that-"

"Just like my Nayla is my grandbaby, Somchai is my grandbaby too," Elisa spoke with her thick accent, squeezing Sommie's cheek, "if this is the man my Nayla choose, I accept him with open arms and think as if he was always a part of my own family."

My chest feels... warm?

For them to accept my child so... easily and deeply into their own family...I feel relieved.

Raising a Kim was hard and as the mother, Somchai's upbringing fell on me. Kasem was always somewhere trying to expand the business and build our empire bigger so everything else was me... at times I resented him for leaving me.

But as a Kim I made it look easy. Even when I was crying myself to sleep because I knew my own child saw me as the villain. I did not want him studying and not hanging out with friends, he was a child... but I could not allow anyone to look down on my son because he had a Thai father.

I would never allow anyone to look down on him.

So, I was harsh on him.

Maybe at times I didn't do my best at soothing him gently... Maybe sometimes I was overbearing... Maybe I booked too many lessons... Maybe I was scary at times...

But the day my son stood up to me for this Nayla girl, I knew it was worth it. A Kim should be unbending on their path even if it is a mother facing off her son.

When he presented her to me, it was not that she was a ugly girl but I was scared... I did not want my child to go through what I did. Marrying someone different from what everyone expected is not easy. People talk, people are mean and above all, it can be hard on you and your partner.

I did not want my child going through that.

But maybe... I should have been his first and strongest supporter because I knew what it felt like to fight your whole family for the one you love. I did to my child what they did to me when I married Kasem.

Sometimes  I can't forgive myself for being my child's enemy when he needed me to be on the same team.

I just want him to be a strong man with unbending will and with thick skin. So if the worst is at home, he won't be scared of anyone else outside.

But today... here and now... there are people who accept my Sommie. People who see his unguarded self and accept him. People who stand beside him.

The Da Costas, huh?

Maybe they can give Sommie what I couldn't... my soft hearted baby can finally be loved by a family in the way he should have been since he was a little boy.

Maybe, I can forgive myself for not allowing my gentle boy to be himself and forcing him to be a cold-hearted Kim.

"Mom are you okay? You're crying...," Sommie asked in concern holding my face, "are you feeling sick?"

"Huh," I fake coughed composing myself, "it's my allergies kicking in, dad ought to hire a new cleaning company."

"Mrs Kim, can I bring you some water? Lemon water is good if you're feeling unwell," Nayla approached with an equally concerned face.

"Or maybe you need a seat petal."

"Thank you for your concern guys but, I'll be okay. I'll go find my husband now, I haven't seen him in a while."

I pray that my Sommie is born a Da Costa from the start in his next life.