Birthday Blues

Chapter 14 : Goodbye.

"I heard you guys wanted to talk to me.."
"Please, have a sit." Her dad speaks softly.
"There's something you need to know. We thought we'd be the most suitable ones to tell you this."
"What is it..?"
"You're actually.. currently in a coma. That's what has been happening all along." Diane finds herself flabbergasted after hearing her mum's crushing words, she almost feels them hurt her physically.
Astounded, she doesn't speak for a while.
"In a coma? How??"
"Do you remember the last thing you did, before falling asleep that night?"
"I had my sleeping pills..?"
"How much did you have.. of those expired sleeping pills?" Diane's eyes widden when she realizes what happened.
"You had.. the whole pack.. right?"
She doesn't say anything, but the answer is apparent at this point.
"That time you opened your eyes and found yourself in a different room. You were actually in the hospital."
"Just say it, am I going to die?"
"You're not."
"But why did you do that.. Haven't you thought about the consequences ?"
"I haven't. I'm used to them, I just wanted to fall asleep."
"You put your life in danger. You're old enough to know what you did is so risky."
"I couldn't bear that night any longer. I just wanted to fall asleep!" She snaps at them, her body language starting to tense up.
"For how long? Forever?"
"I told you I only wanted to sleep! For that night!"
"You clearly don't care whether you wake up or not the next day. You didn't even consider the possibility of how much that was gonna harm your body."
"Yeah, I don't care! What do you want from me?"
"We want you to be better and we know what you really want.
You don't want to die, you actually want to live. You can't wait for your life to begin. There's nothing more desperate than that." Her dad pauses then looks at her mom and they exchange knowing glances, she continues " The message we all want to convey to you before you wake up, is that your life can begin at any moment. Every moment is a chance to turn your life around. We know it's easier said than done. Start slowly, at least eat proper meals and find something to pass the time. We're not trying to turn this into a survivalist cliche full of toxic positivity. We're not just telling you to be happy, just out of nowhere. Just try to improve what you can. Live for yourself and screw out everyone else. Will living miserablly change anything? You have enough on your plate already. You struggled enough, why make things worse?"
"You think I do that willingly? You think I decided to ruin my life just for the fun of it? "
"No, but you still have a choice.
You didn't choose your hard path, you didn't choose this life. You didn't choose for the sun to keep rising and for your life to continue despite you being hopeless. But you can choose to go to therapy and start treating your own self with kindness. Give it a try." Diane doesn't answer this time, instead she looks like she's considering the latter's words thoughtfully.
"Lastly, we want to apologize to you, on behalf of your parents.
Not everyone deserves to be a parent. Not everyone knows how to be one.
We're sorry for all the pain you suffered because of them, all the loneliness and hopelessness.
We wish, you can begin to give yourself the love you never got from them, cause you're for sure, worthy of it, and of much more."
Mark joins them at last, and they all hug her and surround her with warmth.
"Take care of yourself, Diane.
Life gave you another chance so seize it. Goodbye." that's the last thing she heard, before finally opening her eyes.

Everything is blurry.
The room looks strange, and the whole atmosphere is scary.
Her body is aching all around.
She looks on her right, to see her brother Mark staring emotionally at her, along with his family by his side.

The dream.. has finally came to an end

Back to reality