Birthday Blues

Chapter 10 : The Date.

Days go by, and Diane is still in the dream world.
It was hard for her to go back to normal after confronting everyone about the truth, but in the end they all brushed it off as her being stressed and having reocurring nightmares.
The only thing that changed is that she couldn't stop thinking about the Doctor's words.
They somehow made her reconsider many of her decisions and the way she chose to live her life.
He seemed too calm too upon hearing about the dream thing, maybe because of the nature of his job.. He must've heard far weirder things.

Diane continues trying her best to enjoy everything in this world, cause she knows it's going to come to an end soon and when she's back to her dissapointing reality she's for sure gonna regret not trying everything.
But the interesting thing is, through this she has managed to discover plenty of things she didn't know about herself.
She kept reminding herself that it was all a dream and just went for whatever she wanted.
She left her comfort zone behind and kept trying all the new experiences she could.
Turns out, she was good at playing basketball. People kept telling her that she was good at acting. Everyone seemed to love the things she wrote and she somehow got to make a lot of new friends and they all seemed pretty into her.
She thought it was impossible for her to fit in and that she'd always be the loner no matter what, but she's starting to question those thoughts. It was an identity she was very attached to throughout her life. Being the misunderstood lonesome misfit. But maybe... That was just the way she saw herself, and not others' actual perception of her.
Even if it's just a dream, she realized that other people don't look that scary up close. In fact, they were just like her.

It's nearly the weekend, she's at college hanging out with her friends.
A notification sound steals her attention.
"Diane, where have you been? We need to catch up.Let's have dinner together if you're free tonight, if yes will pick you up at seven."
It's Gilbert. They got closer throughout the last few days after all, and it seems he finally gathered the courage to ask her out.
Despite being overwhelmed with her own thoughts, Diane can't help but feel excited. She knows it's the right time fir this, but she still can't reject him.
The only guy she ever liked and went on a date with, turned out to be so toxic, only enforcing her own self-hatred thoughts and insecurities.
It will be good to experience going out with a guy who's actually decent, even if it was just a dream..
"I'm free tonight. See you then." She texts him back.
Her heart is beating like some teenage girl who's talking to her crush for the first time.

It's already seven o'clock.
Diane is ready, waiting for Gilbert by the window of her room.
He finally arrives and she goes out after waving goodbye to her family.
"You look gorgeous." That's what he says when she first gets into the car.
She tries hard to hide the tint that colored her cheeks and smiles to herself.
"Thanks. So where are we heading?"
"I already made a reservation at a restaurant. Hope you'd like it."
"I'm sure I will."
They share some comfortable silence for a while.
"I haven't been seeing you around those days, have you been busy?"
"Yeah, you know since finals are near."
"I see.. I asked Carolyn about you, she said you were a little sick a few days ago.. Are you feeling better now?"
"Yeah! I'm totally fine, it was nothing to worry about."
They finally reach their destination, Diane is surprised at how fancy the restaurant is, she regrets not dressing better.
They're warmly welcomed by the waiters and guided towards their table.
They get the menus and start choosing their food.
"You can choose whatever you want. Don't worry about the price."
"Okay.." She says, but still goes for one of the cheapest choices. Pasta, while he goes for steak.
"So.. tell me more about yourself, I wanna know all about you."
"I.. I always don't know what to say when asked this question, what do you want to know?" She murmurs shyly while fidgetting with her dress.
"Let's start with your hobby..?"
" I like writing. Used to play piano too when I was young. "
"Why writing?"
"It helps me express myself and reflect on my experiences.. What about you?"
"Acting has been my hobby ever since I was young, and that's why I chose it as a major. My parents oppossed my choice at first, but when they saw that it gave me happiness, they soon accepted it."
"I'm glad to hear that. It's important to choose a major you enjoy and feel passionate about."
"Yeah.."
Their food finally arrives, looking tastier than she imagined.
They start eating, she tells him how much she loved everything about the restaurant and he looks proud of his choice.
"So... There's something I've been meaning to ask you but I was hesitant."
"Go ahead."
"I feel like you're hiding something. You often doze off and always have a melancholic expression. I'm not usually the kind of guy to say this, but I feel like you're kind of hiding a painful secret behind your smile."
Diane feels perplexed and doesn't answer. Gilbret gets a little nervous and shugs a cup of water.
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
"You didn't. I'm just surprised you could see through my facade. I didn't know you were this observant."
"You scared me, I thought you were offended or something." Diane smiles and shakes her head.
"Anyway.. You can share it with me, if you're comfortable with that."
"I don't know Gilbert.. I'm sure you don't wanna hear about that."
"But I want to."
"It's gonna ruin the mood."
"It won't. Just let it out, don't overthink it."
She deeply inhales then tells him "In the past.. I used to be an extremely miserable person. I was very lonely and hopeless, and did nothing all day.. People close to me betrayed me.I lived as a stranger and an outsider within society. I never felt like I belong anywhere, never felt part of an "us" , it was always me, myself and I.."Gilbert looks taken aback by what she said but still attentively listens, he gestures her to keep venting.
"When I think that I saw enough pain and sorrow, I realize that I have a lot yet to come. Among smiling people, I was the only one with an expressionless face. I was like a stray cat who keeps avoiding people, roaming around aimelessly."
"Then.. what happened?"
"Then I came here. Everything changed in a second, and I found myself in this reality."
"So.. you mean, things got better after all?"
"Not exactly that, but yeah they got drastically better."
"Well I'm glad to hear that. You seemed like you were going through a lot. "
"I was. My life was so heavy, I couldn't bear that weight." She pauses to catch her breath before adding
"But.. you see. Those days, I've been having strange dreams. Where I wake up, and it turns out that this all is a dream I'm having and the dark days I told you about are my reality." Gilbert seems like he's struggling to process what she said last, he frowns a little while gulping.
"But they're just dreams right? Or more like nightmares.." He asks her.
"Who knows."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know Gilbert. I told you it was gonna ruin the mood, but you insisted."
"I just wanna help you Diane."
"You can't.."
"How do you know that? Maybe I can."
She doesn't answer, and focuses on her food instead.
"I just want you to open up to me so I can help."
"I just did."
"Let's talk more about those dreams you were having."
"Gilbert, you're not a therapist.. I'm not sure we should be having this conversation."
"I heard about those dreams from your friends Diane, even Jake knows about them."
"You did?! When did they tell you..?"
"The same day you told them. I just want you to know, that I believe you."