Love Story Undertaker x Y/N

Chapter 38: Cautious Hope

"Mr. Crevan, your wife would like to see you ," a nurse said. I looked up at her through my bangs, taking a deep breath before following her blurry image down the hall. If this nightmare didn't  already feel like a fever dream, then my blurry sight definitely made it so. My entire world was spinning and shaking, mentally and physically. It made me feel I'll facing the reality that I couldn't save her from her illness. I was almost loath to even pass through the door the nurse stopped outside of. I now understood why humans created the phrase knocking on deaths door. But instead, death was the one knocking.

I forced myself to shake off any doubt and entered. It was different than I thought. Sunlight streamed in through a window, light I didn't realize was there in the dark hallway where I hid. The room was bright white, everything from walls, to sheets, to the hospital gown on (Y/N). I million thoughts ran through my mind and guilt filled me, but still, I selfishly pulled her close and kissed her. And she allowed me to be selfish, cradling me cheek and wiping the tears I was loath to let fall.

"Darling," I whispered, peppering her cheek with kisses, "Do you feel alright?"

"I'm just feeling tired, Adrian," she sighed, leaning against me, "I've broken my arm just slightly but I should survive it nonetheless."

"I'm sorry I can't save you. There's no way for me to cure your illness," I said, letting my tears fall. I felt no shame in despairing but I felt terrible for crying in front of her knowing it would only drive her to comfort me. Sure enough, the delicate fingers of her good hand began weaving lovingly through my hair.

"I know," she said.

"What?"

"I know you can't save me. It's gotten worse Adrian. My mind feels empty some days. I'll be day during and my mi d will suddenly go blank. My mother has caught me staring at the wall a few times. And I'll become sad for no reason."

"Darling why didn't you tell me. You're suffering."

"Because it would only make you feel worse because there's nothing you can do."

"Don't think about my feelings. Don't you dare worry about. I am nothing without you. If you're in pain, if you're hurting, sad, or afraid, then my happiness means nothing."

"Is there truly nothing you can do? Maybe we can find another doctor. Maybe we'll find a miracle."

"A miracle," I muttered. I pulled her into my chest and closed my eyes as I felt her snuggle in. There's no way to cure an newly discovered disease. In order to treat it, you'd have to know how every disease works.

"It's sad to see a grown man cry." I looked up an saw Eddie.

"When did you show up?" I asked.

"When i heard my human friend got into a carriage accident," he said, "Will she be alright?"

"Even if the carriage accident didnt take her life, her illness eventually wil."

"Im here!" River gasped, bursting into the room, "What happened?"

"Our carriage was crashed into and (Y/N) broke her arm. Didn't Eddie tell you?" I asked.

"(Y/N), hospital, hurrry up, wasnt very helpful," River said, "Mr. Cretan, have you been crying?"

"I've come to terms with the reality that I can't stop whatever is killing her from inside. There's nothing I can do. It isnt like stepping in front if a bullet or stopping a sword. Her own body wants her dead," I said, trying to stop more tears from falling.

"Im sorry, I wish there was something we could do,"Eddie said softly, "It isn't fair, really."

"Reapers are thousands of years old though, arent they? And illnesses have existed sin the fall of Adam and Eve, even if they were without name. Wouldnt there be a reaper that new what (Y/N)'s illness was and possibly a cure?" River said, seeming like he was muming to himself.

"Bloody hell, that's a good idea!" I shouted, accidentally waking (Y/N), "sorry darling, but i have an idea. Would you trust me?"

I'd follow you anywhere," she said, rubbing her eyes, "What's your idea?"

"I need to take you to the reaper dispatch. It's a long shot and my superiors might try to kill me for it, but we might be able to get help if I swallow my pride and beg on my knees. Why didn't I think of it before?"

"Begging other reapers for help?"

"No, my superior's wife has been studying human diseases for years. If anyone knows of your illness and it's cure, it's her! River, thank you!"

I picked up (Y/N), making sure she was comfortable, and jumped put a window and then to the rooftops.

"Do you think she'll do it?" Eddie asked, "I know she has a soft spot for you, but still."

"She's our last chance. I'll take any miracle I can get." I said.

(Y/N) cuddled into my chest and managed to fall asleep on the short trip. I moved so quickly l  don't think anyone knew I was carrying a human instead of a fellow reaper. I burst into the the hospital room where Nicholas's wife, Catherine worked.

'What are you in such a hurry for?" She asked, but her joviality left her when she saw the human in my arms.

"Is that the human girl you've fallen in love with. I'm afraid I can't resurrect the dead."

"She's sleeping g, but she has an illness that is slowly killing g her from inside and it causes seizures and weakness in her bones. Please tell me what it is and how to stop it."

"Slow down. What you're describing has existed since ancient Greece and it given it the title epilepsy. Her bones aren't weak, it's her mind that's weakening. Tell me, has she seemed spaced out, depressed, or hollow?"

"Yes. Is it too late?" I asked.

"Not necessarily. You can supplement potassium in her diet and try to jeep seizures and suicidal thought to a minimum and she may live a few more years."

"Suicidal thoughts?" I breathed.

"Yes, with depression often comes suicidal thoughts, and considering she's seeing for herself what life after suicide is like, it may look twice as tempting," Catherine said, "I would know."

"You had it?" I asked.

"I did. I committed suicide to stop the pain, since no one understood my mind was nearly falling apart at the seams. But, you'll likely prevent those feelings."

"I won't let her feel lonely, and I'll bring up the potassium in her diet."

"Just remember, after a certain point, death will feel like mercy," she said.

I nodded.

"A few more years if you can keep her happy and build up strength with potassium," Eddie said, "not to hard. She loves you so dearly that if you spoil her with affection, I doubt she'll ever feel lonely."

"It's not until a matter of loneliness. She mentioned suicide once before so she could live with me forever. Suicide might look like a more appealing way to prevent loneliness."

"Just keep her busy and focused on happy things. SuicidL thoughts come from depression after all."

"I'll make her happy. And if in the end the best way to make her happy would be to let her go, then I will. But I wo t let her commit suicide. She deserves to go to heaven."

"Will a few years be enough?" Eddie asked.

"No, but if a few months just shot up to a few years, then it'll be worth celebrating every second. I love you, (Y/N)." I pressed a small kiss on her forehead. Now, what fun can we have when she's officially cleared from the hospital.