𝙍𝙀𝘿 // 𝘽𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀 𝙀𝙄𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙃 𝙁𝘼𝙉𝙁𝙄𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

reconnecting

billie

"you'll never believe this!" i jumped up and down. "today was the last trial and i won! he going to jail for 20 fucking years, that's double what he would've been locked for if her took the plea deal."

"fuck i'm so glad i did this, and i'm so glad i don't have to see him everyday anymore. it somehow feels like i feel safer, even though i didn't necessarily not feel safe with his roaming free. i feel like i have this huge weight lifted off of me because he got what he deserved."

"yes i wanted him to be in there for longer and yeah i might not feel safe in twenty years but that's a future me problem, no? who know i may be with you by then." i chuckled at the end.

"there's this one thing that has been keeping me up at night. sean assaulted another girl, she's also my age and they also dated. she was strong enough to leave unlike me, but she didn't press any charges. i just think... like if i never put him in jail, how many more women would he have terrorized?"

"he's fucking disgusting, that's all i know."

"now, i can do everything i've been planning to do for a while. i'm going to start promoting your album, i'll start planning an album release party, i'll go visit your dad's house later, maybe i'll start working on my own music again, just a little. i just feel happy, and hopeful right now. it's been a while since i've felt that."

"just- can you please find a way to haunt me. i want you to be there through the process of getting your music out there. not gonna lie everytime i tell you i love you and there isn't a response my heart just break a little more. can't you just contact the wind spirits and give me a small brezze?"

"i miss you so much, and i think i'm starting to learn that this feeling and this emptiness will never go away and maybe i'm okay with that."
-

i rang the doorbell and started playing with my rings. this shit is so nerve wracking. what if they don't want to see my face? i really want them to be somewhat okay, i don't expect them to be smiling and dancing, no one can do that nowadays. i just want to see that they're okay.

"billie!" richard's eyes widened in surprise when he opened the door. "come here." he opened his arms for me to hug him, which i quickly fell into. "your hair is blonde now!" he played with it as i hugged him.

but by played with my hair i really meant, snatch a piece and bring it closer to his eyes so he can take a closer look.

"yeah, thought it was time for a change." i stepped back and calmed my hair down again, i thought it was too early to say blue always wanted me to dye it like this.

"come in! we were just about to have lunch." i went inside, it's still the same house. don't know why i expected it to be different.

"who's at the door hon?" jasmine's voice yelled.

"hi." i awkwardly walked into the dinning room which is where i was surprised to see kyle and lucas eating at the table.

"billie! hi oh my god we missed you much! did you eat lunch already? you should join us." jasmine's eyes sparkled.

"i'm so sorry i didn't mean to crash into your little gathering, maybe i should go and come back another time?" i pointed to the exit.

"no no! please don't. did you have lunch?" she stopped me.

"no i didn't." i shook my head no.

"then sit, please." jasmine pointed to the empty seat. "here, you always loved my lasagna."

"i did." i kindly smiled and sat down.

i looked up at lucas who was looking at his plate, as soon as we made eye contact we both quickly looked away. i don't know what it is that's happening between us, we never were close but we never avoided each other.