Multifandom GxG Oneshots

Alexithymia - Hanna Marin

Word count: 1978

Thank you to kai_naid00 for the request. I hope you like it. I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense or seems messy. 😅

⚠️TW:Suicide, self harm, death, abuse⚠️

Please skip this chapter if you are uncomfortable or trigger by any of these things.

I know the title didn't go with the story but I couldn't think of anything else ok?

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Hanna had noticed you acting off lately. You'd been zoning out more frequently and not talking as much. You hardly even came to school, once or twice a week max.

What made it harder is that you didn't even want to talk to her about it. She'd ask and you'd always reply with 'I'm okay'.

Even Hanna's friends had noticed you weird behavioural change. It wasn't like you at all. They wanted to find out more than anything what was going on but they knew you wouldn't tell them.

They finally decided to sit and talk about it.

"What are gonna do about Y/n?" Aria asked looking to them for answers but no one had a choice to answer when they saw you approaching them.

They thought you'd sit with them but you didn't, you simply just walked pass them and carried on not even looking at them.

"Maybe we should ask her family, they have to know something right?" Emily suggested.

"I don't think we have any other options" Spencer sighed.

"Afterschool?" Aria chimed in and they nodded. Hanna was lost in thought throughout the quick conversation.

She was worried about you and it was getting worse with every second that passed. She hadn't talked to you for nearly two weeks and hadn't actually seen you for a week up until you walked pass them.

You hastily made your way to the school's bathroom ignoring the glances and comments for the students around you.

You practically ran into the stall and locked it as fast as you could. You hated how you felt and the worst part was not being able to describe it or tell anyone because then they'd ask how you feel and you not being able to describe the feeling or feelings make it worse because then they tell you, "You have to know, it's what you are feeling" or "Then you aren't feeling it" and sometimes they just don't care about it and tell you "Everything's gonna be okay" or "You'll get through this" .

You knew you had Alexithymia, the inability to describe ones feelings, but you never thought it would make you feel so alone and isolated, paired with your severe depression didn't go too well.

You hated it. You could only think of the negatives and nothing was helping.

You fiddled around your pocket and after a few seconds found what you were frantically searching for.

A razor blade.

You pulled up the sleeves of your black hoodie and looked at your arms, cuts covered them from your wrist to just before your elbow. You swallowed thickly before running the silver metal over anywhere that wasn't covered.

You hated how not even this stupid and unhealthy coping mechanism stopped working. You hated how you couldn't feel anything. You hated that everytime you did this it has less and less of an effect.

"Shit" You whispered under your breath as you wiped the blade placing it back in you pocket. You arms were dripping with blood and at thai point you knew second period wouldn't be an option but you didn't care.