Against All Odds - SeaChaos (Under Editing)

Agony

Adam's POV

I can't help but just stare at his face. It's Chilled but it's not him. It's the not the same Chilled I know though. It's remarkable how the brain works. How an accident can just remove a special person away from you. Every little thing they once knew about you gone, gone in a heartbeat. How is this fair for him? He's practically got a stranger in his home. What did he do to deserve this? Why does this happen to anyone? No one deserves this kind of pain. Loving someone who hasn't got a clue who you are. I'm getting eaten away. I'm eating myself from the inside out. I'm just grateful he pulled through this and that we might get a second chance or fifth chance with our record...

"Do I have something on my face?"

His eyes move away from the TV and he looks at me.

"Oh, um. No, I was just thinking..." I blink faster.

He sits himself up and lets his head tilt a little. "What about?"

I bring my bottom row of teeth over my top lip and bite down gently. I let my breath out which makes a whooshing sound.

"You." I simply reply.

He tilts his head to the other side and smiles.

"It's strange isn't it." He runs his hand through his hair. "You have all these memories of me that I don't even remember. The last thing I remember was a silly Derp Crew recording. Why don't you tell me some of our memories? I'd like to know."

"Are you sure you're ready? I don't want to push you." I ask him.

He laughs at me and nods his head.

"Do you have a memory of us that you probably won't forget?" He asks me.

One moment seems to stand out from the rest. It's not exactly a really big moment but It's a really raw moment between us that I love the most.

"Well... the day after I got out of hospital there was really nice moment we had where we stood outside my backyard with just a couple of beers. We were talking about some problems you had been dealing with. I could tell that you didn't want to talk about them any more so I just hugged you. We didn't speak but it was really nice to just hug in silence. It was... peaceful. I know it's like a very small memory but I'll never forget that moment. Just all you need sometimes is a hug from someone you love and to be there for them." I lean back in the chair after I finish.

The side of his mouth curls a little. He looks genuinely interested but saddened at the same time.

"Seems like we had a pretty good friendship." He finally replies.

I nod my head in agreement and look up at the ceiling. "Yeah, we sure did."

Chilled crosses his legs and turns his whole body to face me.

"You got any others that you like?" He asks again.

I breathe out loudly and try to think of some more. Another memory stands out the most, this one being a pretty big moment for us. I chuckle to myself. Oh Chilled...

"I was always better at show then tell." I say softly.

He looks at me confused.

Chilled's POV

"I was always better at show then tell." He says quietly.

I look at him confused. Okaaaay? I don't really get it but he sure seems to get it. Did he tell me this or something?

I don't get it?" I say.

He looks disappointed in my words but he softens his face a little.

"It was the first thing you said after our first kiss. It was so cheesy. I immediately couldn't help but laugh. Those words will always remind me of you." He replies.

Our first kiss? I said that? What kind of drugs was I on to say that? It sounds so bloody cheesy but he seems to love it. I'm missing out on so much... How hard is it to get my memories back... I just want them back. Will I ever get them back? What if I never get any feelings for Adam? He'd of wasted so much time. All I can think about is myself and Ze's moment. How did we trigger that moment? Maybe I can try to trigger it with Adam. I feel like I owe it too him. I need to be honest with him but I don't know if he'd want to know since I basically kissed Ze. He seems like the kind of person I would never lie to... but then again I can't remember.

"Trying to remember something?" Adam waves his hand in front of me.

"Um, Okay look. I-I gotta be honest with you. I feel like honesty is something that we would do. I just think honesty is the key." I rub my hands together. "I already got-got a memory back..." I hunch my back and lower my head but still looking directly at him.

His lower lip drops open and he stares down at me.

"What? Are you serious? This is great news! When did it happen and why didn't you say anything?!" He starts to smile.

What if this information hurts him? I don't want to do that. He's already been through enough by the sounds of it.

"I only remembered a moment I had with... with Ze..." I mumble.

His face drops and it seems pretty obvious to what memory I got back. He nods slowly not looking at me any more.

"There's more..." I add.

His eyes close and flash of sadness is easily spread across his face.

"Please don't. I feel like I know what you're going to say Chilled. It's happened before. Your face is the same as last time. I know what you're going to say so just don't tell me. I don't want to be in more agony then I am right now."

My lips start to tremble. I've done this before as well? Man, I feel like the biggest cunt ever. So I've basically done the exact same thing to him twice but I don't remember the first time... I just felt like he should of known the truth... I awkwardly turn myself back to the TV and try not to say anything else. I have ruined him even more now.

"Did he tell you he's with Max?" He suddenly blurts out.

I drift my eyes over to his and it looks like they are starting to water a little.

"Yeah, he did." I look down to my knees. "Please don't tell him I told you."

"You didn't tell me. I guessed but I guess it won't hurt to keep your secret. I mean you were trying to find out your feelings but it's the second time you've done it to me now. I-I just feel like you'll never come back to me. Someone or something is always standing in our way and now you have no memory of our relationship which hurts me deeply every day." He gazes into my eyes.

"I'm sorry Adam. I want to remember something about us but I can't remember how I triggered the memory with Ze. It just sort of came back. I feel so horrible right now but I feel like we are one of those people who tell each other the truth and my instinct was to tell you. I understand if you want to leave if you're feeling very uncomfortable right now I just..." 

"Did you feel anything with him?" Adam cuts me off.

What do I say to him...? I did feel something but if I tell him this it'll break him even more. Those scars on his wrist. I did that to him. He might do it again if I say yes. I don't want that to happen... I can't look him at him any more. I look around myself avoiding the question. I can't just not answer...

"No..." I lie and look down to my left side of my leg.

He looks upset. "I could always tell when you were lying too. The way you look with your eyes."

My front door springs open and Max walks in happily.

"We're back! With some good old fashioned pizza!" Max happily says to us. Ze walks in after him with the boxes of pizza and some garlic bread. Max's face drops once he see's mine and Adam's faces. He looks at us concerned.

"What's wrong?"

More bad news after another isn't it! It's really upsetting me. I'm getting affected by my own story... D: Does this happen to anyone else who writes stories? haha I feel like I'm torturing myself too. D: Thanks for reading guys. :)

-Gee_oxox.