A Second Chance

Alone

The day had come and gone all too quickly.

With nightfall having overtaken the sky, Rae laid on her side staring at the dusty box she had placed on the dining table that was to be opened in the morning. She knew she should have just left it under her bed until then, but at the time she figured seeing it would serve as a reminder for her; not that she could forget something that rode much too close to her heart.

Now, as it stole sleep from her did she realize that it had been a horrible mistake. So instead of closing her eyes and thinking about something else, she laid there, alone in the dark with nothing but her circulating thoughts, her gaze frozen on the object that held her demons.

The curiosity that had started this had long passed and swiftly turned to regret and guilt. Her chest suddenly felt too small for her heart, the throbbing pain was threatening to undo her. A shaky sigh wisped past her lips as her eyes began to swell with hot angry tears.

Stop it!

In a stiff, jerking motion she rolled over, hitching the blanket up higher over her shoulder. She had foolishly hoped that doing this would help, but her mind was far too gone now. Images were now overflowing from her head.

She rolled back over and glared at the box. Forced with nothing else to do, she flung her cover off of her suddenly overheated body and sat up tautly. Placing her bare feet flat on the floor, her arms anchored her to her makeshift bed. She squeezed her eyes shut demanding that she calm down and breathe. She clenched her teeth tighter, her masseter locking up as she attempted to withhold her inner turmoil.

Wait until morning, she told herself, now getting up from the couch. Wait until you've had a good night's rest, she warned, pulling out a chair, careful not to let the legs screech across the hardwood floor. The last thing she wanted was to wake the big guy in the middle of the night. What time was it anyway? She peered upward at the kitchen clock. Two in the morning. Just wonderful.

She might as well get it over with since she knew she wasn't going back to sleep, at least not tonight, not when she was like this.

Pulling her readied laptop closer to where she was seated, she felt along the side of the device until she located the small opening where the headphone jack could be inserted. After a minute of fumbling in the dark, she connected them and placed the earbuds in either of her ears.

With her laptop booted up, she looked towards the old tattered box and reached for it. Lightly touching the surface of the cardboard structure she felt the presence of four years worth of thick dust that had managed to settle even from under the confines of her bed. She wiped it off, while simultaneously making an internal note to clean the table later.

After dragging it closer she wiped her hands on her plaid pajama bottoms, removing as much of the dead skin cells as she could. She couldn't believe it had been so long since she tried to face her past. So long since she last saw him in person. All the video clips that likely had him included, to her knowledge, were destroyed in the fire. This was all that remained from her old home.

It had been a complete surprise when after she escaped her prison that she was given this, almost like a parting gift from the two most important men in her life. It was tucked behind the locker she had made a promise to visit, along with keys to possible locations for her to hide out in.

Being almost at the age of sixteen, she was desperate for any trace of her father's existence, feeling more than vulnerable at the time. But aside from the box, she wanted more; more than these USB drives. She should have never even chanced going back to search through the wreckage, knowing how dangerous that could have been, but she couldn't bear the thought of not having anything familiar to remind herself of him. The aftermath however, was disappointing. All the blankets that held his scent so strongly were ash, his unusual collection of antiques were gone, and even the teddy bear he gifted her when she was three years old was completely and utterly destroyed. She had nothing.