Emily Prentiss One-Shots

Emily/Hotch

Now That's Entertainment - greengirl82 (AO3)

Summary: What could be worst than vibrating panties? How about losing the remote to them?

Rating: Mature 

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"It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously." Oscar Wilde

Emily sat in the locker room staring at the offending item in the bag in front of her.

"What the hell is that thing?" Emily asked looking up at her two friends, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

JJ leaned over the brunette's shoulder, chuckling, "Looks like someone wants you to have a good time."

Glaring at the petite blonde, Emily picked up the card on the inside and held it up, reading the note.

Emily's eyes went wide as she looked up at Garcia, "You?"

"You what?" Garcia said trying to sound casual then shrugged, "Ah hell, I'm not even going to deny it. Gumdrop, since you're so picky with your men, I want to save you from a life spared with frozen dinners and cats."

"So you got me erotic underwear that vibrates? Is that a remote?" Emily asked scrunching her nose at the idea, "What the hell is the matter with you?"

"Well at least you'll save a fortune on batteries" JJ joked, not looking at Emily who was glaring at her as she went to her locker, "Seriously, Em. Carpe diem. Give it a go... What the hell? Garcia!"

Emily couldn't resist the urge to laugh as JJ held up her own blue bag.

"Carpe diem, Jayje" Emily mimicked back to her.

"Now girls, I know you're probably pissed about this" Garcia said holding her hands up in defeat, "But seriously my pretties, it's been a big dry spell for you sex wise."

"Not that long" Emily muttered, counting backwards in her head, "Only six months."

"I thought you were technically dead for seven?" JJ said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah I met someone my first month in Paris" Emily muttered, "Girl had to do what a girl had to do."

"And you, blondie?" Garcia asked JJ.

"About three months" JJ told her, "Yeah Will and I hit a bad patch before we broke up. Should've seen it coming, because every time we got close to being intimate I'd be picturing Leonardo DiCaprio."

"Well who wouldn't picture getting it on with him? Hell who wouldn't mind getting off thinking of him?" Garcia said, noticing their surprised looks, "Yes, even Garcia thinks of him while doing that too. There I admit it, happy?"

Emily shook her head chuckling then looked back down at her bag, wondering.

"Now you don't have to worry about anything, but just know that these are just a back up in case..." Garcia said, "Now come on, Hotch is expecting us to help with a case."

Garcia walked out of the locker room, while JJ shoved hers back in her locker.

"I'm having serious thought to getting her committed" JJ told her, heading towards the door, "You coming?"

Emily looked up at her determined to do something different "I will in a second..."

Emily came out of the bathroom stall, shoving her bag in the locker and grabbing the remote and shoving it in her purse she rushed out of the door.

Bumping into Anderson, she heard the man apologize as he helped her pick up her fallen items.

"Sorry, Agent Prentiss" Anderson said.