Emily Prentiss One-Shots

Emily One-Shot

Title: Just Dirt In The Ground - SSAScorpSik (Ao3)

Summary - Emily visits her grave. She tries to get through the anniversary of her death. Heavy, heavy angsty wangsty.

Rating -  Teens and Up Audience 

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"There you are."

Emily turned at the soft voice and offered a half smile. "Here I am." She turned to look at the hole in the ground, her name plate still there, marking her spot even though the casket had now been removed. "There I am."

JJ's eyes moved to the excavated grave. The grave was empty, but the headstone remained. 'EMILY PRENTISS. FIDELITY. BRAVERY. INTEGRITY.'

"I, uh, I wanted to see where they put Tsia and Sean... but their bodies went back to Europe." Emily shrugged. "So I came here – the only grave still here for me to mourn over. No corpse, though." She added with a shrug.

JJ swallowed thickly and reached out, her fingers ghosting Emily's arm and drifting down to her hand. "Are you okay?" she breathed, unsure of what to say.

"Sure. Better than the Prentiss in the ground." She replied. "Sorry. That was supposed to be funny."

"You've always had a dreadful sense of humour, Prentiss." JJ teased, trying to get a smile.

"Sean used to make terrible jokes." She said softly. "We'd tease him – his British dour humour. He'd turn it back on Jeremy. He'd say that Germans had no sense of humour, so even his bad British jokes were an improvement." She laughed softly at the memory of Sean. He was like a big bear, but his heart was warm.

JJ chuckled.

"Tsia loved Jeremy. Right from the beginning we saw it. She tried to keep it from Clyde, but he saw it too. Clyde saw everything."

"Sounds like a good team." JJ nodded. "Close."

"We were." Emily nodded, her lip trembling slightly as she thought of them: her friends. "Much of our job was... you know... classified. When one of us was undercover, we'd all have our parts to play in keeping them safe, but... the ins and outs of the mission? We never knew exactly." She looked up at JJ, her eyes shiny. "The things I did, had to do, to get Ian...they never asked. They knew, of course, but... it didn't matter to them." She squeezed JJ's hand. "It seems to matter now, though, now I'm back. It matters to the guys."

"It doesn't matter." JJ tried to assure her.

"But it does."

"How so?"

Emily shifted uncomfortably. "Undercover teams... they know what's expected. There aren't any rules. Well... there are less rules. It's all in the grey area. Sex and... " Her eyes flashed up to JJ's. She had killed whilst undercover, but though it wasn't legal... it sometimes it had to be done. She couldn't tell JJ that, though – not out loud. It was something the Bureau would take issue with. And rightly so. So she said instead, "Sex and the other things we had to do... it was accepted. We all knew that to flinch or refuse to do certain things would blow our cover and get us – maybe the team – killed. So we did what we had to do, and we all accepted it."

She took a deep breath. "But OUR team... the BAU... they aren't an undercover unit. They follow the law, follow the rules and what I did isn't acceptable anymore. Not to Derek or to any of you. And it shouldn't be. I crossed a line and it has changed everything. I wish it hadn't, JJ, and if I could take any of it back I would."

"It's okay." JJ said softly. "Don't worry about the others."

"I have to JJ. I haven't got anyone else. If I lose you too, then... then what was the point of keeping me alive? No point, JJ. No point at all. And you and Hotch – and me – we would have gone through all this shit for nothing."