Estelle slid her arm into her jacket, her eyes unable to depart from her frame as a plethora of air slid past her lips. She was ready, and Katsuki was due to arrive any moment to begin their date. He had left her a box yesterday, which she received when she returned from Hound-Dog's session.
The package contained a white rose and a small slip of paper detailing the time they were to meet. Estelle wasn't even surprised to find he had gone through her closet already, a pile of clothes sitting next to it, and the woman just knew Katsuki must hate how she paired her outfits since this had become a reoccurring pattern for him.
Her heart twinged with unease the longer she stared into the mirror, her fingers twitching around the bottom of her jacket as she tried to understand the feelings marinating inside her. She didn't know why she felt so nervous; it was only Katsuki.
It didn't help that Hound-Dog's session yesterday had been brutal. Estelle had asked so many questions about the conflict she felt inside herself, and it almost seemed like they had come to an answer, but it was too uncomfortable to think about for too long. What made it worse was that this sudden date directly correlated to her messed-up feelings about the whole thing, and she couldn't help but wince at the coincidence.
"Let me ask you this. Do you battle with yourself on how to respond in normal situations and interactions?"
"I...Yes," Estelle relented, shifting uncomfortably on the couch to avoid the warmness saturating the back of her neck.
"Do you say no to things even if you desire to say yes?" Hound-dog continued, leaning forward on the couch in intrigue as he witnessed her unease spike.
"No."
"..."
Pink-cheeked from his silence, Estelle realised he had proved his point, her eyes averting as she mumbled, "Yes."
"Does you're sense of duty kick in when this occurs?"
"Yes."
"Would you describe it as your human nature battling with your spiritual nature?"
"I guess so."
"Have you ever wondered if you were conditioned to think a certain way? And now that you are free, you struggle with the ability to think with your own wants and desires in mind?"
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"Hm. It depends on how you look at it. Let me ask, what is it that you truly want?"
"To not be confused."
"Estelle, you were raised to prioritise duty over every other aspect of your life, including yourself. The warrior's life is all you know, so you use your duty to spirits to deflect anything deemed human simply because you were conditioned that way. What would it be if you had to choose between being a spirit or a human?"
"I guess....a human?"
"Why?"
"Because I would not have had to bear those burdens, I would have been able to have a simple life."
"So, why do you push the human aspects of yourself away?"
"I...."
"Just think about it. Open yourself up to what you want to do rather than what you should do. Maybe even try to embrace those aspects that you are so afraid of. You may find clarity at those moments. You'll never know until you try."
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LOST // BAKUGO X OC
FanfictionEstelle was always lost. But this time, she really is lost. Where the hell was she? Waking up in a completely different setting, Estelle makes her way in search of a way to get back home. The endeavour leads her to UA High School of heroics, where s...