imbalance I neteyam sully

chapter one . the forest

the first memory i have of neytiri, was of her humming the sounds to a deep, based melody, she referred to it as 'broken'. every night since i began living with the sully's, she's hummed the exact same melody to me til both lo'ak and i fell asleep in each others arms.

the animals around us would make similar noises and become one with the melody, it is one of the first constants i had in my life. neytiri was my first forever.

when the melody began, i feel the vibrations of pandora, of the forest, i become so much more connected to the land. 

lo'ak always tells me, 'you are the beauty within the forest'. 

lo'ak sees me as something so beautiful, kiri and lo'ak both tell me, i am the unseen beauty in pandora and everyone deserves at least one glance at me. they tell me, id bring them hope in the darkest of times. 

neteyam calls me his star, i am what lights up what he can't see. 

i am the pillar to them all, i am the yin. 

people fear me, yet desire me. i am the unknown, the feminine, the chaos.

i am the imbalanced. 

these are the thoughts that follow through the sound of the melody, the melody with so much strength, the melody sung by pandora's strength. neytiri is the pure, strong, loving, mother, daughter, mate. she is the melody, she is the broken.

yet neytiri is the fixer, bringer of balance. 

in this moment, it is peace, it is the melody. 

soft faint snores are what are echoing through me, lo'ak has fallen asleep with his head resting on top of mine. "goodnight my sweet pair," i hear the soft voice of neytiri, as her voice enters through one ear and throughout the other.. i fall asleep. 

"skxwang!" jake yells through the tent. 

i wake up and turn towards the tall, the strong, the invincible jake sully, who is now calling his son an idiot. 

neteyam looks down at the ground, "i'm sorry dad, i was just trying to empress you," his words hit jake deeper then intended. 

neteyam is getting bandaged up, and jake is now on his knees looking into his son's eyes, "you empress me, you empress me everyday, you empress me by just being here, you remind me of greatness, you don't need to go do dangerous things to grab my attention, you had it the moment you were born, i'm sorry i don't show and tell you how proud of you i am," he pulls the small boys head into his chest and soft, mumbled cries leave neteyam. 

watching their relationship develop and show love, pure happiness, is something so beautiful. 

"i love you neteyam," 

"i love you dad,"

i look down at lo'ak who is fast asleep, even though we are getting older and are heading into our late teens, moments like this remind me of how young we all are still. neteyam crying into his fathers arms, lo'ak sleeping with a slight smile on his face, me missing the ability to hug my mum. 

we are so young. 

"akari," neytiri spoke, i turn towards her direction and push the strand of hair dangling in my face. 

"hi," i spoke softly, neteyam peaks his head out from his dads chest and looks into my direction, i turn towards him, giving him a soft smile, letting him know, don't be embarrassed. 

"your eyes are more vibrant then usual," neytiri says with a teeth-y smile, she always spoke soft words to me, she always put a smile on my face. 

"are they? maybe ill turn purple next," i let out a soft laugh and get up off the net hammock, neytiri laughs and it catches neteyam and jake's attention, "finally decided to wake up," neteyam walks over with a big smile and dried up tear marks on his cheeks, even when he's so sad, so alone, he is so caring towards me.

neteyam grabs my head and pulls it into him, "k sleeping in, something id never expect," he says with a grin.

"ney, its literally sunrise and you are already bandaged up," i respond back and look up into his eyes with a bright smile. 

mumbles leave neteyam's mouth, "ney, don't be like that, i was kidding," i look up into his eyes.

"i can't even be mad at you, looking into your eyes fills me with peace," this isn't the first time i've been told this, but hearing it from neteyam made me smile, "good," i say with a bright smile. 

looking up into his eyes fills me with so much fullness, there is something so beautiful but painful, since the day i met him, i've felt this sense of sadness, sense of pain and i've never learnt what it was.

the light yawns come from behind me and i turn to look at the young boy, "lo'ak," i say with a bright smile, "hey," he responds softly and puts his arms out in neytiri's direction, "mum," he pleads, "my youngest boy, please," she rolls her eyes and picks him up like a baby. 

"you are getting too big for this lo'ak," she says with love and slight irritation, "i know, but, i love it," he begins to yawn again and closes his eyes. 

"this boy, seriously, when is it going to stop?" jake walks over and looks down at lo'ak, "when i die," lo'ak responds with his eyes close, "don't say that!" neytiri softly slaps his arm, "ow- i'm sorry," he gives her an apologetic smile. 

jake walks over to where tuk and kiri are sleeping, proceeding to throw both girls over each shoulder, "swimming in the lake time," jake whistles out and runs off. 

in a sudden instant, im thrown over neteyam's shoulder and lo'ak is screaming in his mothers arms, "MUM, MUMMY! STOP!" lo'ak pleads like a child. 

"neteyam, i swear! don't you dar-," i'm interrupted by the sudden surge of water hitting my mouth, the faint screams of kiri, tuk and lo'ak fill my ears. 

i poke my head out of the water, "DAD! NO, NO, NO!" neteyam is now screaming, as he lets out the last no, his body hits the water and then his braids proceed to float on top of the water.

i look over at neytiri who is on the ground laughing to the point her cheeks are filling up with a rose-y colour, "don't laugh too hard, you're next," jake says and within seconds, neytiri is in the water beside me. 

the feeling of the water against my body felt so secure, so safe. 

i love the water, i love the forest. 

i love pandora.