the idea of imbalance
varies throughout each persons mind,
the chemical imbalance within the brain,
the imbalance of love, life, lust.
akari na'van was just that,
she was the imbalance yet,
akari was the yin to him, to his family.
disclaimer:
i...
"lo'ak," i whine, "no, it gets so much better," he tells aonung, the older boy turns his head to me with a grin, "go on," he tells lo'ak.
"lo'ak, i swear.. i'll tell the story about how you would-," lo'ak slaps his hand over my mouth and looks at tsireya, "ok, ok, i won't!," he laughs out.
aonung wraps his arm around my shoulders, "i want to hear more stories," i look at him and shake my head, "no more stories," he rolls his eyes and gives me a smile.
his eyes are so blue, so light like his skin.. so pretty.
"oh, hello," a voice spoke, i looked up- neteyam.
aonungs grip became tighter, "come sit," lo'ak told his brother and began tapping on the sand between himself and i.
neteyam's eyes never left aonung, i watched as he bent down with his legs apart and arms resting between them.
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"have any stories about him?" aonung gestures to neteyam. lo'ak looked over at neteyam, "i have a few," i say and give neteyam a smile.
"before i moved in with the sully's, neteyam and i use to adventure out into the forest a lot, just the two of us.." i began.
seven years ago..
"kari," neteyam's voice spoke from a distance.
twirling, spinning, rain droplets.
"kari!" his voice is closer, i turn towards neteyam.
"yes?" i question, "beast," his voice barely whispering.
i turn behind me and lock eyes with something i'd never seen before, something that was full of utter darkness.. or so i tried to make neteyam believe.
"neteyam," i slowly back up, "run!"
neteyam begins to run and i jump on the back of the thanator.
"shhh.." i whisper and let out fake cries for help, "neteyam!"
i hear the boys soft foot steps on the ground and turn the thanator into the direction of him.
"pounce," i command it within seconds the forest is filled by screams.
i'm crying of laughter as i watch it lick neteyam all over his face and he screams of fear.
"neteyam!" jake's voice came from the bushes and i turn to look at him, "DAD, HELP ME!" neteyam screams out.
"help you from what exactly?" jake questions.
"to be fair it was neteyam's first time seeing a thanator, but his reaction was priceless.. he didn't speak to me for two weeks after it," i giggle and turn towards neteyam who is looking at the ground with a small smile.
"mighty warrior my ass," lo'ak pushes neteyam, neteyam shakes his head, "i was only eight or nine lo'ak," he rolls his eyes.
"what is a thanator?" aonung questions and i look up at him with a smile.
it's like.. it's like a really big cat, like really big, they're all black with eyes like.." i turn to lo'ak and neteyam, "like theirs, they're beautiful like them, after the war between sky people and jake.. we were forever bonded with them," i look back at aonung.
aonung gives me a soft smile and pulls me in closer to his body.
neteyam looked at the two of us with an irritated expression.
i tilt my head in confusion, "what?" i say, neteyam looks at me, "nothing." neteyam gets up and looks at lo'ak, "don't do anything stupid, meet you at the tov'an tree later," neteyam walks away.
"angry, angry," aonung mocks, i look at the boy and shake my head. "you can be so ignorant," i get off the ground and follow after neteyam.
"neteyam," i call out, the boy turns to me and puts one finger to his mouth to signal 'shhh', i shake my head. "what did-," i went to speak but his hand cupped my mouth, we are leaning against the chief's tent.
"-no we understand, we don't want to put your people at risk anymore. we will take ourselves else where," jake spoke, "if you ever need help, come back to us.. it's just not safe for my children, ronal, the unborn baby and my people," tonowari tried to reassure jake.
the footsteps of people exiting the tent fill our ears, i turn to neteyam and within seconds i'm over his shoulder and he is running away from the tent.
we are leaving the place i have just come to terms with.
"we are leaving?" i question neteyam, he looks at me and gives me a nod, "how many places does he want to fucking take us?" i huff and push neteyam off me.
forest, sea-lands, where next? fucking sky lands, might as well at this point.
"akari, why are you so angry?" he looks down at me, "because, i was just starting to bond with the people of the metikayina clan, i was starting to not feel like a complete outcast.. but here we go again, these people accepted me more then the people back home," i roll my eyes and bend down to the height of the plants that trail into the jungle.
when i'm angry or sad, i tend to rely on nature for help.
"walk alone, when you are in anger or in sad.. nature will console you better then anyone else" wise words from ninat, one of the few words/advice she told me, nature is my peace.
playing with the glowing flower, i feel his hand softly touch my shoulder.. silence yet peaceful, his presence is perfect.
"akari, i'm sorry," he is now bent down at my height and i feel his arms wrap around my waist, i lean against him, "i just want to stay somewhere and not have to leave.. i had to leave my sister, i had to leave my mum, i had to leave the forest, i have to leave here.. here i was finding myself, lo'ak was finding himself, me and you found each other," i push my hands against my face.
i feel the light breath of neteyam against my ear, "no matter what happens, we'll always be together, always find a way to locate each other. no matter which land, which life, which world, we are from the same star, you are my star.. i will always return to you, just like i always have returned to you."
soft cries.
poetic neteyam, just like his mother; so, so much like his mother.
"no matter how much time passes, those we have loved never slip away from us entirely," his head leaning against mine.
love.
"akari, i feel you," i turn my head a little so we are making eye contact, "i feel you," i whisper, "i feel everything, i feel things i shouldn't, your happiness, your sadness, your loneliness, your past, your future," his eyes close.
"the unseen beauty within the forest, the unseen beauty within pandora, the white princess with abilities to feel everything," he whispers.
his words are so soft yet hit like a brick, he knows exactly what to say.
i was just so angry, angry about leaving a place that isn't even home.. home is with him, it's with lo'ak, neytiri, kiri, tuk and jake. home isn't a place.
