I Solemnly Swear james potter x reader

james

james pov

I opened my eyes blinded by the. right sunlight seeping through i must not have shut the curtains last night. I went to move to get up when I felt a weight lying on my right arm. I slowly turned my head to seeing the sleeping figure of y/n. Shit yeah last night, Moony, y/n and her mum. i made a mental note as i moved her slowly and got up to go to the toilet that i needed to speak the remus later.

When i entered the room y/n and sirius where up on my bed talking in hushed tones.
"morning" i whispered
"hey" y/n replied
"you okay" i said bring her into a side hug

"i suppose" she hesitated
she wasn't i could tell

" i'm going to talk to him later if you think that's a good idea"

"yeah i do it just.. well me and sirius were saying what if he doesn't remember"

" he was pretty gone" sirius commented

i hadn't thought of that shit. " ahh yeah"

"we don't know if we should tell him or just .... not mention it" sirius continued

"wouldn't that kind of be like lying"

"yeah well that's our dilemma"

"i don't want to break him all over again"
y/n said "i can't" she looked towards Sirius's closed bed.

i thought  for a moment " i will"

"huh" sirius looked confused

"i'll tell him.i wanted to talk to him anyway about it"

"if your sure" y/n said she looked a little relieved
i'm glad i want to make this easy for her too.

fuck this is gonna be hard though.

.............................................................................

Remus woke up about 2 hours later.
There was a loud groan and the dishevel werewolf heaved himself looking around very confused. This caused y/n to fall into a fit of giggles.  "morning"he grumbled

He didn't seem to remember and as the day went on he never brought it up. So the three of us agreed to not mention it until tomorrow as he was still very hungover.

So at 9pm the next day i took him a side and said that i wanted a talk. I reluctantly told him to bring a joint as Sirius said it would be an icebreaker and would clam him down.

We met at his an Sirius's smoking area which was the roof outside our dorm where it was flat. He sat down and lit up the joint offering it to me. i took one drag to make him happy and then after a stifled cough that made him laugh i handed it back. 

"so" he started " what was it that u um wanted to talk about"

" oh yeah right"
i hadn't really thought about how i was gonna start this.

"yeah okay um moony" i placed my hand on his leg which in turn received me a very disgusted looked

"yeahh" he said slowly removing my hand

"well the other night you said something that well.."

"i know james" he cut in

"what"

"i remember"

"are you sure u know what i'm on about"

"about the .. about ... about the attack" he said quietly looking down at the dark grounds of Hogwarts.

"yeah" i ...this was not what i expected.

"james look i love u but i don't want to talk about it"

"moony"

"No because you will just give me some speech about it not being my fault and how i shouldn't blame myself and how u guys love me no matter what,,, and James it want make a difference. No matter what i will still blame myself because it was me i was the one that did it at the end of the day" he looked up at me "so it no one else's but mine"

"remus"

"please, smoke with me if you want, but i guessed the minute you said bring the joint you wanted to talk about this."

He really is to smart for his good.

" okay well" i grabbed his shoulder as i stood to leave "i love you mate and i'm always here"

"i know" he said quietly "see y'a in a bit"

I gave one last look before disappearing through the window. As i was exiting i bumped into someone, looking down i saw y/n, she looked a state. Eyes puffy, checks stained with tears, even her normally perfect was a little dishevelled.

"Y/n are you okay what wrong" i bruts it before i could stop myself

"Oh, um hey James,nothing seriously don't worry.....um im just going to find Remus"

"Oh okay" i dont know why it stung a bit the fact she didn't want to talk to me, but i brushed it off

"He's out there" i directed pointing to the window

"Thanks" she called as she hurried out

I dont know what this feeling is but something about not helping Remus and now y/n makes me feel so shit inside like I've failed or something i dont understand.

Sorry this one is awful and sorry it took so long to come out I've kinda of had a writer block as you can tell xoxo