Come home. [ l.s ]

VIII

July 30th , 2:13

Lou, I can't sleep.

Today, I had the day off and I've occupied myself with the sweetest of memories of you.

And I must confess a secret that I've held from you for almost 3 years now.

The night you were kidnapped, I had good intentions. Please believe I did. I never wanted you to be taken away.

But that night you looked so astonishing. Even more than usual. Your silhouette shined so beautifully that night and I knew the time was right.

I had spent weeks, no - months, looking for the perfect one to seal us together for good. To show you that I was fully committed to you.

If only I hadn't been a fool and left it in the car.

Louis, I can't help but feel that this is my fault. Everyday, I slave away with these pounds resting upon my shoulders and they are nothing but the harsh reminders that you are gone because of me.

If I hadn't left it, you'd be here.

If I hadn't told you to stay behind, you'd be here.

And often time, I look at this small box with hatred.

I wanted nothing but the most for us. And I couldn't wait to see you fill with joy. To shout, "I do!" over and over with tears rimming your eyes.

I've dreamt of it for so long.

I had no doubt in my mind that you would agree to take my hand.

Not a single doubt. We were born to live our lives, alongside one another.

But there's my secret, Lou.
Forgive me for ruining the surprise.

.H