fine line, adam banks

HIS BURNING GAZE

the dining hall is overflowing with excitable teens, catching up on what they had done over the weekend. i found myself sitting with my brother today, surrounded by axe smelling boys.

such a dream, catch the sarcasm there?

the conversation has been focused on whatever rick was planning, meaning adam, scooter and i were off in our own separate worlds. 

"so banksie, who was that lucky lady from the party last night? should i expect a mindy 2.0 anytime soon?", the oldest boy questions.

"eh, i doubt it. her name was grace, she was pretty cool."

"will you be seeing her again?"

"not if she doesn't want to be just friends."

a sense of relief washes over me, "oh come on adam, get yourself out there. ashlee has been itching for you to get a girlfriend and grace seems perfect for you."

"she seems like a mini mindy, you gonna turn out like captain over there?", scooter smirks.

"over my dead body. she keeps trying to talk to me in the classes we have together but i don't really put out any effort. i have my eye on a different girl."

"and who might that be, banks?", scooter pushes. it's almost like he knows the answer. what's with this team and being so secretive?

"eat your vegetables, scott."

"i'm only eating them because i want too, not because you told me to."

"so unicycle, do you have any ladies in mind?", i wiggle my eyebrows.

"maybe."

"who.", all he does is shake his head, "tell me!"

he shakes his head yet again, causing me to throw one of my orange slices at him.

scooter easily catches it, "i'm a goalie, nat. nice try though."

"adam, you probably know. who is it?"

the older boy shoots daggers at the boy next to me, "don't you dare."

"sorry scott, i can't lie to my girl.", heat overwhelms my cheeks as i turn to him, "it's julie. little old scooter here is a cougar."

gasping in shock, "no way! goalie on goalie love, do i like this? yes. yes i do. why didn't you tell me! i could have set you guys up!"

he holds in hands up in protest, "slow down there, miss. west. one question at a time. i did tell you, just now."

"wrong. adam told me cause you are too much a pussy."

"oh thank god, i'm not the only pussy anymore. unless he took my title?"

"wrong again adam, you are going to be a pussy forever in my eyes. but, grace sees you differently i bet.", i shoot him a wink.

"you know, that blonde has been staring at you this whole period right? why don't you go talk to her?"

"how could you not stare at this. i'm a magnificent work of art.", the boy next to me, flews his muscles. 

"headass.", i mumble, not taking my eyes off his arm.

"you know you like it."

scooter groans, "i'm so single. i can't handle this freshman tension."

a voice from the opposite end of the table breaks us out of our conversation, "you ladies done gossiping yet? we have a little invitation to deliver to the duckies. you three are coming with us."

"do i have too?", i whine.

"if i'm going, you're going sis."

"you are not the boss of me!"

"adam.", my brother silently demands.

as the group gets up, adam grabs my hand, pulling me up from my seat. 

"let's just go."

on our short walk to the jv table, he doesn't let go of my hand. 

once the group reaches our destinaton, rick throws an arm around me while tristian leans down on the back of the chairs.

julie gives me a wild glance, i don't know what to say or do in return.

"hey, congrats on the blake game.", rick smirks.

from below me, charlie sighs, "yeah, right. we tied."

"hey a points a point.", my brother smiles.

"we're all warriors now. you guys proved your guts.", somethings off in ricks tone and i don't like it one bit, "you all set for dinner, friday?"

leaning back into his arms, i whisper to scooter, "dinner?"

"don't ask me, nat. i'm just as confused as you are.", banks nods along, agreeing with the older boy.

the whole table of ducks seem just as confused as we are, "dinner?"

"well, it's an eden hall tradition.", i give rick a questioning look, "varisty got to treat the freshman to dinner."

"so round up your posse and meet us at 6:00 at the minnesota club, downtown.", xavier smiles.

my brother pipes up, "anybody need a ride, we can take you."

rick cuts off tristian, "i mean, you guys do like steak and seafood, right?"

charlie scoffs as the group eagerly nods their head, "yeah, we do."

the oldest riley drags us away so cole could talk, "look, i don't like you pukes, all right? but this is a tradition."

i shove his arm off me, letting me stay with adam.

"at eden hall, i learned to care about tradition.", cole actually seemed pretty serious which is a scary breath of fresh air.

the blonde boy leaves the two of us at the table, "it's cool! you coming back to the table, rose?"

i nod, "give me a quick second though."

"what's going on, nat?", connie questions.

"i have no clue, i have never heard of this tradition."

charlie rolls his eyes, "maybe they have finally learned to respect us as we will be taking their place when they graduate."

"i'm just saying be careful, you never know what they could do. i'll see you guys in class."

a round of farewells follow me as i turn around. a warm hand pulls me to a stop, it's little ken wu.

"have you thought about what i said?"

there is a fine line between love and hate

i nod my head, he urges for me to go further, "i don't know kenny. my feelings are all messed up right now, i've never been more confused in my whole life."

"i know you both. just talk to him, i'm sure his answer will suffice."

"what if he doesn't feel the same? it would ruin our whole relationship, i would never be able to show my face again. adam would probably tell ash and she would hate me!", i couldn't seem to catch my breath.

"it's okay natty. these feelings are new to all of us, it's up to you to explore them. i'll see you in art, okay?"

i nod my head, giving the little guy a quick hug before turning around once more.

my eyes find themself on a certain boy sitting at a table with a bunch of people i've known since birth. my breath gets cut short when i see a short little blond plop herself in the seat i once held.

grace gently puts an arm on adam, giving him a soft smile. i couldn't watch it anymore, i turn around, hurriedly walking out of the dining hall.

i don't miss the feeling of a familiar burning gaze on my back as i leave.

what am i going to do?