Lavender Haze (Actor!Steve Rogers AU)

19

Steve let Arizona in as she knocked at the door to his room, the familiar perfume that she wore now hitting his nostrils.

Neither said a word until she finally decided to, not being able to take the silence anymore. "I was unsure as to to whether you'd still want to come - given that the last time we spoke we didn't exactly leave it on the best of terms". That was an understatement, and she wanted to make amends before they had to spend tomorrow together. 

He scratched the back of his neck. "I never meant that I didn't trust you". He began. "But I wanted to hear it from Brock myself".

"I shouldn't have gone off how I did, it's just that you know I have trust issues..."

"Yeah..."

She'd probably have more after what he'd be telling her tomorrow, however now she was here in front of him, he was unsure as to whether he could hold out that long.  

"But, I should have listened to you - unfortunately I let my emotions get the better of me".

He shrugged. "It happens, did you at least get a song out of it though?"

Arizona half laughed. "I did...but it's not as bad as you may believe it is. Plus...I don't think anyone will hear it. Gonna keep it locked away in my vault with the rest of the others that didn't make the cut". Now looking at him seriously. "I'm sorry".

"Me too..." He looked at her and realised that he couldn't spend the next day acting like things were ok. He had to be straight with her now, otherwise it was just going to eat away at him. "There's also something that we need to talk about, and I was going to do it after the wedding so I didn't spoil things like the dick that I am, but I need to get it off my chest".

She sighed and nodded. "I was waiting for it", seeing his face change on realisation. "Look I know things between you and Sharon have developed. It's not been hard to miss. You wanna end our deal, don't you?" She was trying hard to not let it bother her, but something inside of her was disappointed.

"Yeah..." Steve confirmed quietly. "We're getting more serious, and obviously now things are the way they are? We can't keep this up. I just didn't know whether you'd understand".

Arizona forced out a smile. "Hey, it was only ever about the sex right? We both knew it would stop at some point and now it is. I'm not gonna be pissed because you're settling down. That's not me". She wasn't annoyed in the slightest, if anything someone like Steve needed to settle, even if there was a pang of betrayal on her part. 

"Yeah, and I know that. More than you think I do". He said. "And, if it's not gonna be too much of a hassle, you still wanna be friends without the benefits?" It sucked to do this, but he still needed some kind of 'lifeline' to maintain between them. Not that he ever thought he would.

She nodded, quashing the lump forming in her throat. "I'd rather that than nothing at all. Anyway, we've got tomorrow to have fun, even if it's without the sex". Now chuckling to herself.

"Well then we'd best make the most of it".

Arizona checked her watch. "Crap, I need to get go do a few things for Mom and see that everything's set for tomorrow, but see you at the ceremony?"

"I'll be there, oh, and Ari?" He said as she turned back to him on her way out. "Thanks, for understanding and everything".

"What are friends for?"

Turning, she made her way back to her room, closing the door and inhaling deeply before exhaling. It felt as though all the air had been sucked from her body, but she needed to get herself and her mind straight before tomorrow. 

"It was only ever about sex...you said so yourself, you knew what you were getting into". She told herself. "You saw the gossip pages, you saw it coming - it's done, and tomorrow you're gonna have a good time, and then you're both going to walk away like the adults that you are". 

It still didn't change the fact that she felt like she'd somehow lost the war with herself.